Stuff

I started doing my tax return today.  I don’t have all my group certificates though.  Why are people so slack?  It’s the 4th for god sake!  Give me my group certificate!  One of the agencies I worked with emailed my GC out this week.  Why can’t they all do that?  It’s the 21st century, get with it people.

I’m especially excited about tax this year because I got my HECS statement (I don’t think it’s called HECS any more but I’m old skool).  For years and years and year, I’ve had this massive HECS debt that never got any smaller.  I’d pay and pay but it made NO different.  This year I got my statement and I owe like $1600.  I thought that was an error cos it’s been over $10,000 for years.  Anyway that means I’ve totally overpaid my HECS and will get the $$$ back.  Plus I can now NOT pay it and that’s like getting a 5% pay rise (more or less).  Yah!

On the topic of HECS, I had an argument with someone recently cos they said you have to be earning HEAPS to even start paying your debt back.  Um, the starting salary is around $45,000.  Why would you bother going to uni if you were going to earn less than that?  I mean you get $20 an hour in a call centre which equivalent to a full time salary of $40,000.  That means you are acquiring a massive HECS debt to earn less than $5,000 extra.  That’s just basic bad return on investment sense!  Btw my sister told me later he’s studying philosophy… no wonder.  Seriously who’d pay all that money to study something you can get on a fortune cookie!

Anyway, what am I going to spend my tax dollars on?  Ha!  I’ve got to have a heap saved before I move to Japan so that covers that.  The other day I realised something – I’m going to be so much better off when I live in Japan.  This has been my life for the last year – save to go to Japan, go, come home, start saving again.  If I’m living there, I can take the whole “saving to go to Japan” chunk out of my budget! 

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I’ve been thinking about my blog lately.  I started my first blog of sorts about 10 years ago!  That’s before there even were blogs as such.  I was totally anon and wrote anything I liked without fear anyone would read it.  Hell, most people I know back then didn’t even have home PCs. 

When I started my diet blog, again it was pretty much anon.  Then I started to meet people from online and that was great, having this whole wad of real life support.  Lately though I’ve really been pulling my punches about what I write.  A lot of my friends and family still don’t know about this blog (and it’d be kinda weird to tell them now). 

I no longer feel comfortable pouring my heart out.  I think too much about who will be reading.  Lately things have happened in my life that I want to write about but I’ve held back.  Not just because I worry about who’s reading but because I’ve started to wonder if that is a good thing to do.

When things happen that strike you in the heart, can you really express them in a blog post?  Or in a few sentences in your facebook status?  What a weird way we communicate these days.  When I read other people’s posts about tragedies in their lives, I never know how to respond.  I’m not comfortable with that and what do you say?  There are no words that can make things better, especially from an unknown stranger over the internet.  Yet I feel like I should say SOMETHING. 

So I’ve started keeping things to myself because I don’t want to trivialise them by turning them into just another blog post someone skims over in their reader and because I don’t want uncomfortable words of support.

Maybe, one day, we can sit down over a coffee or a beer and I can tell you what’s really going on in my life and you can tell me about yours.  Face to face, you say more with a nod or a smile than a million words typed into a keyboard can express.  In the meantime I’ll keep updating about my weight and my whiny rants.

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On a perkier note, I’ve started a new blog!  It’s at a site called Lang-8.  If you are studying another language, you write in that language and native speakers correct you.  It’s very useful and I’m enjoying reading the English entries too.

Random stuff

• In case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been a bit meh about exercise lately.  Even when I’ve actually done it, my heart isn’t in it.  I’m just going through motions.  Well today I got an email saying my new gym is definitely opening on the 15th (they’d said that earlier but they had put back the opening date once already so I wasn’t convinced).  I’ve just been checking out the facilities and the class timetable.  There is so much going on, I’m going to be living there!
• Other new and exciting exercise: I did a free hula hooping class last night.  At first I hated it and was so un-co but then I kinda sorta started getting it.  Didn’t go much on the teacher – she didn’t really explain anything and just focused on the people who were grasping it really quickly.  Plus the class was a bit overcrowded – not good for hooping.  Afterwards, my sis and I both thought we felt better.  Her back had been aching all day and the hooping helped.  I found a place that sells adult hoops for $30 so we’re buying one to practice at home!
• Food, food, food.  Always an issue.  My new goal is to start taking my lunch to work.  I’ve never really done this consistently before.  Mostly I’ve worked in areas that have decent sushi places nearby.  A couple of sushi rolls is my favourite lunch and not too taxing on the $ or the calories.  But this office has nothing (one sushi place that’s a bit dodgy and currently closed for renovations).  I paid $8 for a couple of small meatballs on rice today — that’s such a rip.  Even a sandwich in the area is a minimum of $7.  I made a few bentos last week (will post photos over the weekend).  I love the bento box I bought in Japan – my only complaint is I can’t fit in enough vegies (but I can put them in a separate container).

Today sucks

On the way to work, the earphones on my ipod stopped working.  That meant I had to spend all morning listening to my co-workers jibber-jabbering on about crap.  I hate not having something isolating me from the outside world!

At lunch time, I went to Coles on Bridge Rd to get earphones.  They only had kid’s ones — they don’t filter out outside noise.  I hate outside noise but beggars can’t be choosers and there is nowhere else around East Melbourne to buy earphones.  After I left the supermarket, there was a freaken gale blowing down Bridge Rd and it blew a huge chunk of rock into my eye.  Even though you couldn’t really see it, it was the size of a house brick I swear.

Got the tram back to work even though I was virtually blind (and had a scarf over my eyes).  Went to the bathroom and rinsed my eye.  And rinsed.  And dicked around.  After an hour, still no relief.  I talked to my boss and he sent me home (I was going to wait to see if it got better).  Got home and still no better.  After lots more rinsing and whinging and rinsing, finally is feeling okay. 

Now it is pouring rain and I have to go to Japanese class.  I could stay home but if I do, we will study some wacko verb form and I’ll never catch up. 

Tomorrow must be better, right?

This week

OMG our internet has been insanely bad this week.  I hate you, Dodo.  Hopefully I can actually post this.

Still struggling with food.  I am just an eating machine.  I have no idea why.  My biggest issue is eating at night while watching telly.  I figure the best way to deal with this is to have better/healthy snack foods in the house so at least I’m not eating bags of clinkers.

On the plus side – I did some exercise this week.  On Wednesday I went into the gym and used the boxing room.  I’d forgotten that, more than anything in this world, I love to hit stuff. 

Thursday I got a really bad gut ache.  Worse than anything I’ve known before.  The pain was so intense then I got all nauseous and sweating and stuff.  I really thought I’d faint.   Luckily it went away but I didn’t want to risk pushing myself after that.

Friday I was far too lazy to exercise.   I seem to get end of the week burn out.  I’m fine up to about Wednesday then I can’t be arsed making a healthy lunch/exercising/ doing anything at all really.

Yesterday I got out for a run but, after about 1 km, my shin really, really hurt.  I thought it might just be that I need to warm up more and I should push through it.  After another 100 metres, I realised I really shouldn’t push through it!  I ended up walking the other 4 km.  Except it was really cold.  If I’d know I was going to walk instead of running, I’d have taken a jacket.

Today I’m going to do some weights.  I was going to go to the gym but figure I can do just as well at home (without paying or having to talk to other people).  While I’m waiting for my new gym to actually open it’s doors, I’ve been thinking about going to a few different gyms that have casual membership but really done nothing more than think about it (except for the boxing the other night).

My goals for this week are:

• exercise every day, make at least 2 days those high intensity exercise (ie. not just walking to/from work)
• drink water.  LOTS of water.
• only one treat a day!

Argggghhh I’ve put on so much weight lately.  This insanity has to END.

Champion

I was going to post about all the ways in which I failed to meet my goals this week but hey, that shit’s for losers!  Instead I’m going to talk about all the ways in which I was a champion this week:

• the other day when the chocolates in the work kitchen called my name, I decided to get a yummy, juicy, crispy apple instead.  It rocked.
• I’ve done at least 30 minutes exercise 5 days this week.  One of the days I missed, I had a stomach bug.  I did 2 killer circuit workouts at the local playground — ha ha, I was doing my modified chin ups (feet on the ground) the other night and looked up to find a group of 4 little girls standing in front of me staring! 
• I’ve drank buckets of water this week.
• I ordered Coles online (it’s a PITA to get to the supermarket atm plus they carry the groceries up the stairs for me) then today I cooked up lots of food – a mince thing and some soup + chicken teriyaki so I can finally use my cute bento box I got in Japan and a potato thing.  I am all sorted for this week for food.
• Tonight I was procrasting about going for a run but finally got in my gear.  Walked outside and it’d been raining (I hadn’t noticed) and was about to change my mind.  Instead I grabbed my rain jacket and headed off.

That’s pretty damn good.  I deserve a gold star and an elephant stamp I reckon. 

I was thinking this week about weight loss and shit, as you do.  I’ve been in the mindset that I should lose weight before I move to Japan.  You know, I reckon nothing ever works when you put a “should” in front of it.  It just makes the whole thing a big drag. 

Anyway, about from wanting to lose weight for the sake of losing weight or to look hot or to fit into my too small clothes, I realise one BIG thing I’d been overlooking.  More than anything, I want to set off on this big adventure full of energy and life.  At the moment, my energy levels have been damn near comatose.  That sucks.  If I’m going to experience all I can, I need to be full of beans.  And I need to start beaning up now.  Also I can’t wait to move and be somewhere else to start enjoying life and having adventures.  That needs to start now too. 

Just like you can’t put your life on hold until you lose weight, you can’t do that about moving either.  If I’m not the person I want to be overseas before I leave, I never will be.

Things that matter

Lately I’ve been a bit blah about life.  Things that used to interest me and fill up my time have lost their appeal, so far nothing has come along to take their place. 

Shauna posted recently about happiness and I totally agree with what she says – having small daily pleasures while working towards a big goal.

How do you’settle on a big goal though?  You can just pluck one out of thin air.  I need a big goal, hey you’ll do.  Before you even work on achieving and the small steps, you have to have that swell of passion, the quicken of the heart, that falling-in-love honeymoon period.   Any goal worth anything is going have a period of cumbersomeness, whether it’s running a marathon, writing a book, building a house — to get through the hard bits, you have to have the huge swell of wanting to do something from the outset. 

Nothing does that for me at the moment.  Days are just days.  I can run, go to the gym, all that stuff but it’s not leading anywhere.  I need a big goal, a purpose.  I’m sure one will come popping along eventually.  I just need to stick it out until then.

Also

A while back I mentioned I took part in the filming of a video clip.  Well it’s now up on youtube.  You can’t see me in the crowd but it’s a great clip and a really catchy song.  Check it out.

Progress

I’ve managed to get my exercise in the past 2 days.  Yesterday I got out for a run.  Today I went to the local which is handily next to a big hill.  I did a circuit of hill runs, modified chinups, squats and pushups.  Did that 5 times and was pretty much stuffed.  Got home and then we decided to go back to the park and have a kick of the Sherrin!

Food hasn’t been so good.  But OMG have you tried the Green and Black’s butterscotch chocolate?  It is the best thing ever.  I think being broke is not helping.  When I have no money, I seem to live on carbs.  They are cheap and filling.  I might scrap together some money and get some fruit and vege at the supermarket tomorrow though. 

This week will definitely be an improvement.  For starters, it isn’t going to be so rainy so I can get in some walking to and from work.

Fizzled

After getting all revved up in my last post, I kinda fizzled out this week.  My goal was to do 30 minutes exercise every day but even that didn’t happen.  Lots of reasons/excuses but if I’d really wanted to do it, I’d have got around them.  This week I’m going to plan and make it happen.  I’m not going to let the cold weather and other things in life get in my way.  My other goal is record my food.  Even when I’m eating badly.  Got to start somewhere.

Kathryn states the obvious!

Since I got home, I’ve been doing little exercise (or anything really).  I’ve been feeling a bit sniffly and sick plus really lethargic so figured I’d wait for that to pass before getting back into an exercise routine.  I wanted to clean up and reorganise things at home too but kept putting it off.

So on Saturday I decided to stop being a big baby and just suck it up and do something.  Something is better than nothing, right?

I figured I could do an “easy” workout at home – run down the stairs, do 10 squats, run up the stairs and do 10 pushups – repeat 10 times.  OMG that was not easy!  I had to change the pushups to crunches halfway throughso my arms didn’t drop off (they are still sore today).

After I finished, I decided instead of sitting on my butt and being all self-congratulatory over my efforts, I’d keep moving.  Once you’ve got your heart rate up, that’s BONUS TIME!  Anyway, spending that long on the floor doing pushups and crunches made me realise how much I needed to clean the floors. 

I started off sweeping and tidying.  Ended up completely moving furniture and reorganising my bedroom.  It’s so much more spacious and unannoying now.

Then today I went for my first run in forever (I reckon close to a month).  It was a hard slog but I feel so much better now. 

Anyway, my point is you can’t wait for energy to come to you.  That’s never going to happen.  You need to start moving.  Use energy = get energy.