iDiet

I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this, but my fave writer is Haruki Marakami, mainly because he’s the greatest living writer in the world today.  I could go on for pages about how much I love his work but go read it for yourselves!  The other night I got an email from his publisher’s mailing list about a new book coming out. 

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

In 1982, having sold his jazz bar to devote himself to writing, Murakami began running to keep fit. A year later, he’d completed a solo course from Athens to Marathon, and now, after dozens of such races, not to mention triathlons and a dozen critically acclaimed books, he reflects upon the influence the sport has had on his life and—even more important—on his writing.

Equal parts training log, travelogue, and reminiscence, this revealing memoir covers his four-month preparation for the 2005 New York City Marathon and takes us to places ranging from Tokyo’s Jingu Gaien gardens, where he once shared the course with an Olympian, to the Charles River in Boston among young women who outpace him. Through this marvelous lens of sport emerges a panorama of memories and insights: the eureka moment when he decided to become a writer, his greatest triumphs and disappointments, his passion for vintage LPs, and the experience, after fifty, of seeing his race times improve and then fall back.

I’m very excited - so many of my favourite things combined in one memoir by my favourite writer!

On the diet front, this is not a good thing to do: getting weighed before bed on the way to the toilet, with a full bladder and lots of warm winter clothes WHILE HOLDING A FULL HOT WATER BOTTLE!

Something I’ve been thinking about lately - I’ve been reading Sharon’s blog, Goodbye To All Fat, and she talks a lot about relationships.  My own relationship history hasn’t been such a good one.  I think I always held the belief somewhere in my mind that no guy would be interested in me while I was fat. 

As I got toward my goal weight, I was sitting on the tram one day - one of those newly Spring days where the sun is out and suddenly everyone around is a COUPLE - all kinds of couples: fat, thin, gay, straight, pretty, ugly.  I felt kind of ripped off, this moment of realisation that I didn’t have to wait until I became perfect!

Of course, I didn’t run out and fall madly in love or anything like that (or you’d more than likely read all about it here).  If anything, I’ve been less interested in that kind of thing since losing weight.  I remember a friend saying ‘why did you bother losing weight if you’re not going out, shagging around?’ (typical male reaction, huh?) but I really did more flirting and cavorting when I was bigger.  I’m not sure why — maybe because I’m older or too exhausted from all the exercise or maybe I was just a drunken whore back then…lolz.  I rarely met guys who interest me and I don’t have the be-botheredness to seek them out.

Anyway, my point is that I don’t think being fat stops you from having a good relationship.  The evidence is out there.  Sure if you’ve got a good body, you are way ahead in the dating stakes - if you feel confident and sexy, you’re even further ahead - but it’s not compulsory.  There is no door bitch keeping the fat chicks out of the love club.

What I do think are that there are certain factors in some people’s lives that can cause relationship problems, those same factors can cause you to become overweight.  It’s not FAT = NO LOVE but rather those things being two symptoms of a deeper problem.

I’m not sure what that problem is  - I could chuck it in huge bucket called ‘low self esteem’ or ’sexual repression’ or some other generic label but I really don’t think they apply to me.  It’s more like a tangled ball of wool that I can’t even find the end too.

At the end of the day, the weight issues are so much easier - I mean calories in vs calories out: if only the rest of life came with such a simple equation.

Yahs, I’ve got a new contract ready to start when this one runs out.  I kinda felt a bit bad because I’ve got a feeling my current employer expects to extend my contract indefinitely (well at least until they get someone permanent in my role) but screw them — no one has communicated that to me and I want OUT!  Plus I’m not going to risk unemployment just because they MIGHT need me.

I’m kinda excited because I’m going back to the job I worked in last year.  Sure I bitched and moaned cos it was a lot of travel but now I can go on Eastlink… woohoo… fast driving!  And I don’t have to deal with new stuff.  I love that.

Got on the scales this morning and I’m down to 85.7 kgs.  Weird but I’d rather weird stuff in a downward direction than the other way around.

Work is absolute bollocks.  I’ve been feeling bad about it all night.  On top of the crap, I made a couple of horrible mistakes which I’m not happy about.  I’m not really cut out for this type of work - which seems to be more about managing other people than actually working - and the work environment has some weird politics that I don’t even want to know about, yet I seem to stuck in the crossfire.  I’m really uncomfortable with it at all.

But you know what is good - when I wrote that title just then, I realised that in 102 days, no matter what, I’ll be getting on a plane to go to Japan.  Everything in life passes. 

Also, I had to ring a couple of places to get references today.  One of them wants me back and the other one would have me back if they could.  So if the job I’ve applied for doesn’t work out, there is stuff going on.  It’s nice to know that other places I’ve worked LOVE me!  Yah!

And you know what else is good - going to the cheapo shop on Smith St after work and getting a black Bonds tee-shirt.  I didn’t own one and nothing looks as good as a well fitting plain tee (esp with a good bra…lolz).  Oh I also bought rainbow slipper which I so don’t need but they were only $7 and I needed something bright and cheery.

Went into work for a few hours this arvo.  Nobody said hello or anything, as in blatantly didn’t talk to me (and looked away when I tried to say hello), then one of the woman came over and asked how I was.  I told I’m starting to feel better and she said - oh, were you sick… we all thought you didn’t like the job.  WTF???? If I’d have thought at the time, I’d have said well I don’t now I know you’re all talking about me behind my back.

I don’t know what to do - the work is strange, the people are strange.  At the moment, I’m just concerning myself with covering my arse until I get out of there.

Up a bit from yesterday but thát’s to be expected since I’m mainly eating carbs atm plus I think I could have been a little dehydrated yesterday.  Oh yeah, and bloody Andy bought Breadtop over yesterday.  A few people have asked me what Breadtops is but seriously, you don’t wanna know.  It’s like flour, sugar and fat processed with a heap of chemicals into delicious baked goods forms that are like crack cocaine.  Fear the Breadtop!

I said I’d go into work this arvo but I’m really dragging my feet.  I don’t wanna!  Plus I have a headache.  I hope it clears up because I’m going to see Wicked tonight.  My bff and running bud Simon organised it but forgot to tell me what day he’d booked the tix for until yesterday.  Doofus.

I heart my belly parasite.  I’ve been yo-yo-yo-ing in the 87s-88s for the past god knows how many weeks (and getting increasingly frustrated).  This morning I’d eaten plus drank about half a bottle of water so almost didn’t bother weighing myself.  Got on the scales and found myself in the 86s!  Go me.  Then I double checked, expecting it to be 86.9 (anything to get over that bloody 87 hump though).  And double yah - 86.2 kgs.  That’s made me v happy.

The other advantage to being sick is that I’ve only been able to eat small meals so I’ve really started adjusting my portion sizes; also I’ve been forced to stop eating when I’m getting anywhere near full — both good habits to get into.

Since I had the day off work today, I did my tax.  I love doing my tax and getting MY money back from the tax man.  It really shits me how much the government gives in handouts to people in this country - and how people come to expect it. 

I pay nearly HALF my wages in tax so when I see some family on $100,000+ a year bitching because the government isn’t giving them enough, it really riles me up.  I can understand that isn’t that going to go far if you have a mortgage and a family but you aren’t exactly living on the breadline either.  When I was young and an impoverished single mother all I wanted to do was earn enough money so I support myself and Andrew instead of getting help from the government.

Anyway, rant over.  the other good thing about today is that I’m having my laser hair removal done.  When I went last week, I thought they were going to zap me but they only did a test patch.  I’ve had to go a week with no plucking of facial hair!  I feel ready to join ZZ Top!  I could have gone back to get it done sooner but Tuesday is 25% off day so it’s worth putting up with a bit of facial hair for that.

OMG… I might have a parasite in my belly!  The doctor thought it was uncommon since I haven’t been anywhere strange and foreign like Sydney or Daylesford (apparently big areas for belly parasites).

Is it bad that my first thought was to ask if it meant I’d lose weight and how could I keep it hanging around?

Anyway, no work tomorrow and no working out until I’m better.  I’ve got to cut back on dairy but can pretty much eat what I feel like, better to pick than to eat a big meal (not that I could eat a big meal atm… I couldn’t even handle the thought of lunch).

It’s all a bit of a worry - the last time I had a parasite inside me was 21 years ago and it’s still bleeding me dry… lolz.

I had to come home from work early today.  My stomach is NOT RIGHT!  I thought I had a 24 bug but it’s been going on for 4 days now.  Not good at all.  I’m off to the doctor later this arvo. 

You’d think being sick and not being able to eat properly, I’d lose some goddamn weight but the scale is back up again.  I’ve been tracking my food etc so if I don’t lose anything over the next 2 weeks I’ll go to to doctors and get them to check me out.  Just have to make sure I’m scrupulously honest with my recording.

Arrgghh my stomach’s growling like some kind of mountain lion’s taken residence in there!

At lunch time I bought a Japanese phrase book.  It was a time consuming exercise, what with having to race off and find a public loo then go back… Anyway, I got the Lonely Planet one cos it has the phrase “kick it to me” - v handy if you find yourself in the middle of an inpromptu game of footy with non-English speakers in the middle of Tokyo!  Maybe a bit of ‘Jack in the pack’…lolz!

I’m still trying to figure out why, under Sex, they have the phrase: “a sense of humour is important at a time like this” - I’ve never even used that in English!

No exercise today - I’m feeling weird in the guts so figure running isn’t the best idea.

I woke up at 5.00 am and couldn’t sleep so started rearranging my bedroom then got over the idea but I’d chucked all the books off the bookcase onto the bed so had to finish up.  I’ve still got a box of papers to sort though but other than that, things are looking much better (I did go back to bed for a nap after I put the books back).

Yesterday we went to the Immigration Museum to see the kimono exhibition before Japanese class.  Very interesting - beautiful fabrics and designs.  There was a big sign at the entrance saying no photography allowed because light ruins the fabrics and some stupid woman was taking pics just near it so I made sure she knew!  Why do people think these things don’t apply to them?

We looked through a couple of the other displays - all fascinating.

After going to this museum, and the one in Tassie recently, you’ve got to really wonder about the history of this country - what are we saying here:  this is the culture we destroyed by white settlement, this is the damage we’ve done to the country, these are the people who come here and we treat like shit.  Really not a proud heritage!  It’d be nice to think that’s all in the past but I can’t see it happening.

I woke up this morning feeling like crap so didn’t go into work.  I’m about go have more bed rest.

You know what rocks though - my new fave breakfast: fruit toast with peanut butter.  Not something you want to have too much of though.  I figure if I only get it from the bakery or cafe, instead of making it at home, I have built in portion control.  And it’s great if I need to eat pre-run.

Today has been declared a rest day.  I got an email yesterday about training runs being held by the people at Lululemon.  I might go along tomorrow and check them out.  Details here.  Where is gate D at the tan?