Horrible day!

It’s been one of those days — work was a nightmare.  If something could go wrong, it did – and usually without any obvious cause or solution. 

On top of that, I’ve felt like complete shite: full of self-loathing and self-pity.  One of those moods when you want to be on your own but then get andry and depressed because it obviously means no one wants to be around you and who can blame them… when you are such a pathetic, horrible, grotesque person.

I think it all started because I had a dream last night that the guy I’ve been kinda seeing was saying all kinds of mean, nasty things to me.   To be fair, he would never ever do that in real life, in fact he has never said anything negative or uncomplimentary to me.  Still it was a rotten dream.  I’ve had the same dream a few times – different people but them abusing me in the same horrible manner as if they loathe me.  I have no idea what that means.

After work, I just wanted to come home and hide away in my bed but one of the women at work suggested I shouldn’t skip the gym (and she didn’t even know what a mood I was in), even if I just went for a little while.

I figured doing a killer cardio interval set followed by some boxing would have to help.  I punched a hole right through that punching bag… well not quite, then got the bright idea to get a manicure (red with white polka dots!). 

That helped for a while but the mood came back like stray cat that’s been fed a few times.

When I feel like this, I take everything personally.  I can see myself being unreasonable and stupid but I can’t stop the jibber jabber of voices in my head, blaming myself.  Everything – the bus being late, the shop not having what I want… is all due to me not being good enough. 

So, what do you do?  How do you pull yourself out of a mood like this?  Sleep, a good movie, booze?


5 responses to “Horrible day!

  1. For me it would be exercise, loud music and then a couple of glasses of red wine. Hope you’re feeling better soon! See you Sunday.

  2. **hugs**

    When I feel like that, I go for a long run, have a hot shower with my favourite shower gel and then stay in with a DVD or a book…a bit of escapism always helps me…and maybe a glass of vino, depending how bad the day was 😛

    The thing is I can identify when I’m having a zero self esteeem day and even though I’m feeling crap I know that I’ll feel better tomorrow, so I try to tell myself that. It’s just a temporary thing, my thoughts are just thoughts….sounds a bit Pollyanna-ish but I’ve found that just trying to be gentle with yourself and not get upset because you’re feeling down really helps. I don’t get it right all the time, but I’ve found acceptance of how you feel tends to make things better a lot faster 🙂

    I know when you feel low you don’t want to talk to anyone really (I don’t!) but sometimes just ringing a good friend and having a chat helps too!

    Hope tomorrow is better, I’m sure it will be 🙂 x

  3. I wallow in it, for awhile. Do all my favourite procrastination things, read, watch a movie, snack on someting crunchy and tasty, live on the internet, snip at my husband. Eventually I even get sick of myself and my mood turns around.

  4. Big {{{HUGS}}} girl, I know that feeling well but thank god it doesn’t last. I hope you’re feeling better and something I do when I get like this is just retreat a little and have some “me” time ’til the storm passes.

  5. Booze- and plan a holiday! I am fine as long as I have plans. Not looking forward to getting home to the lull.

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