Blokes

I am so seriously sick of all these books at the moment about how to find a bloke to date/marry.  How about this latest one — the one about settling for whatever dude will have you.  I haven’t read it, on account of it sounds like arse, but I read a thing in the paper about it so that more than qualifies me to comment, right.

Anyway, apparently EVERY woman, every single woman that is, over 30 wants to be married more than anything else in the world.  Because that’s such a great thing. 

Lower your standards, play stupid games.  Don’t ever answer a text message within 3.45 hours.  Flatter him but  don’t be available.  And, my favourite, don’t have sex for the first 6 dates.  Meld yourself into the perfect yet hard to obtain woman.

I’m going to write my own book, “What’s so great about a freakin’ husband anyway?”

It’s going to include advice like:

  • have sex on the first date (if not before).  You don’t want to waste time on a dud. 
  • act like an insane bitch.  Have you ever noticed the chicks you know who are total insane bitches always have really nice, sweet boyfriends/husbands.  Why is that? 
  • let him see you in your trackies and no make-up.  Start as you mean to continue. 

When you are single, your life is basically go to work, come home, cook dinner, watch telly, go to bed.  After the novelty of romance has worn off, what are you left with — go to work, come home, cook dinner, watch telly, go to bed.  Except you don’t even have control of the remote any more.  Instead of watching Sam and Dean do some inappropriate brotherly touching on Supernatural, you have to watch lame sports and shit. 

The only plus side of a relationship really is regular sex and someone to put out the garbage as far as I can.  Is it worth putting on make up and a push up bra for that?  Is it worth settling for Mr Boring and having to listen to long, involved stories about disputes with the accounts department?  Is it worth giving up having sex with every other man on the planet?

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8 responses to “Blokes

  1. No seriously this is the funniest post you have ever written LOL BTW my first date with J was in trackies and no makeup!! I’m going to devote more time to the insane bitch behaviour now though, if only I’d known!

  2. ahhh you are wise 🙂

  3. I’m thinking Graham is really nice and sweet. Hmmm. Maybe I better rethink the adjectives I use to describe him.

    Very funny post Kathryn.

  4. Yeah! Who wants a friggin’ husband. I certainly don’t want to get married. Dan and I have been together a while now but f*cked if we’re going to get married and have kids. That’s what other people do. We’re both too independent for our own good. The best advice is just to be yourself and let things unfold organically.

  5. ‘Is it worth giving up having sex with every other man on the planet?’
    No it is not. Please make up time for people like myself.

  6. I am all for you writing up that book. I think it’d be a best seller.

  7. You’re right – we’re all as bad as one another !

  8. Freaking games-rules- bullshit, just make me angry, and then articles that suggest that all women are the same and that blokes need to be trapped so that they hang around with us? Seriously who writes that crap. I will buy your book for sure!

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