Thin List

You can bet that every single person who has/had a weight problem has created a thin list – “things I’m going to do when I lose weight…”  They make for interesting reading.

What makes something valid only when you lose weight anyway? 

Sure there are somethings that are stupid/dangerous/ill-advised when you’re considerably overweight – some kinds of extreme sports where you need body strength and security safety gear, stuff like that; things that hinge on weight loss – like buying and fitting into a pair of size X jeans; others that are long term goals like running a marathon.

Other than that it comes down to our own quirks and insecurities.  If there were some kind of social standard stating you cannot do X unless you are under 70 kgs and don’t even think about doing Y until you reach 65, then we’d all have pretty much the same list. 

I’ve never had issues with eating in public, never had issues with going to the pool or the beach (although sometimes I’ve worn the obligatory huge tee-shirt), never worried about going to nightclubs or bars or travelling.  I never even thought these things would be a problem until I read them on other people’s lists. 

And, you can bet your life, other people would do the same with my list.  Years ago, I knew a girl who was obese who modelled for life drawing classes.  That I’d never do at any weight.  I was too scared to go into “normal” sized shops for a long, long time even to look.  I screwed up job interviews (or didn’t apply in the first place).  I had a myriad of rules about what I could and couldn’t wear.  I couldn’t talk to people in some situations.

All these fears!  All those thoughts of “one day, when I lose weight, I’ll do…” It’s stupid, really stupid. 

The way to abolish fear, for me anyway, hasn’t been by losing weight but by doing things.  Forcing myself.  Starting small.  I’m still working on it.  I no longer have a thin list but I still have a list.

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7 responses to “Thin List

  1. You have no idea how much I loved this post, Kathryn 🙂

  2. This is great sweety. I love this. It’s kind of that fake it til you make it thing. Don’t wait to scuba dive when you are 70kgs cos doing those things will help you get to that weight!

    Good post!

  3. Woah, this is so recognisable… I have a thin list in my head. It’s stupid and I should know better…

  4. I don’t have a formal thin list- but there are things I won’t do if I am not happy with my weight but last week I went to the beach in a bikini! And when I am overweight I drive to the fish and chip shop so people don’t see me with my paper package of yumminess and think I deserve to be so fat.

  5. Oh yeah, I know where you’re coming from.

    My list is in my head too, and it tends to come to the fore when I’m not at a weight I’m comfortable with.

    I love socialising (anywhere) but as soon as I’m not comfortable in my clothes, I tend to become a bit of a recluse and don’t got out at all….

  6. See my post about ms. curvy I met today (entitled hiding in the office). Bet she doesn’t have a thin list! It’s when I meet people like this that I think it’s all in the body confidence!

  7. Oh, and the thing on my thin list: buy a pair of nice designer jeans. That’s it.

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