Men, they really bug me sometimes. And this is why:
- Did anyone read that article in the papers last week about “getting your man to help with the housework”? Seriously, the whole issue of the man “helping” is enough to get me fired up. You contribute to the mess, you contribute to the cleaning – that’s my motto. Even by calling it helping, you are putting the responsibility onto yourself. Anyway, their suggested included remembering to thank him! But the worse one of all — wear sexy lingerie while cleaning and tell him he can “help himself when the cleaning’s done”. Honestly, if you’re going to whore yourself, you wanna get something better out of it than a few clean dishes.
- At Borders last night, I saw a book about how to get a man by thinking like one. I wanted to know if it involved getting a labotomy. The guy standing beside me wasn’t amused! One of their suggestions was to NEVER say you’d slept with more than 5 guys — how is that thinking like a man?
- I was also reading a guidebook to Japan, well understanding Japanese culture. I got to the chapter on “relationships” and writer was going on about how Japanese women are the most beautiful in the world and how they love Western men (do they… ). Anyway, he advised the reader that they should only pursue relationships with women in approved places – host bars, etc. But never, under any circumstances, take these women out in public! Oh no, you’ll just embarass the normal, decent people by doing that.He then went onto to say that when staying at a Japanese inn, just because the maid might help you get into your robe and will be going in and out of the room, you shouldn’t assume she’ll sleep with you — although she won’t be unaware of your virility! Oh yeah, I’m not making this shit up, meanwhile the poor maids are prolly thinking – why did I get the fat, hairy white man…He concluded by reminding the reader that there are ‘fungirls’ (or some word like that) and then there are women, and you shouldn’t treat them the same.Seriously, I want to hunt down the guy who wrote that book and, while wearing steel capped boots, kick him repeatedly in the nuts. Until he bleeds.
- Then to top it all off, on the way out of the Jam Factory, we decided to play one of those shooting games – awesome, it came with a pump action rifle. We were having fun, shooting and pumping and laughing until this dude came over and started telling us how to do it “properly”. WTF? Why do guys always do that? Always. This is my advice to all the men of the world: Unless I ask for your help with something, shut your freaken piehole! Oh, and enough with the stupid gestures when I’m trying to park. They really don’t help.
Anyway, the reason I was at the Jam Factory (other than to eat my body weight in choc tops and banana bread — oops) was to see the X Files movie. I’d heard bad reviews about it but I really enjoyed it. Gillian Anderson is so gorgeous – I love that she’s aged gracefully and looks like a beautiful woman not some plastic surgeried to death Hollywood star. Billy Connelly was also awesome. I’m not a fan at all but seeing him play a serious role (he plays a pedophile ex-priest, not many chuckles in that) really impressed me.
On the way to cinema, I saw the poster for the new Ben Stiller movie and thought it looked lame but they showed the preview and I nearly fell on the floor laughing – definitely must see that one when it comes out.