79 days to Japan: a rant about men!

Men, they really bug me sometimes.  And this is why:

  1. Did anyone read that article in the papers last week about “getting your man to help with the housework”?  Seriously, the whole issue of the man “helping” is enough to get me fired up.  You contribute to the mess, you contribute to the cleaning – that’s my motto.  Even by calling it helping, you are putting the responsibility onto yourself.  Anyway, their suggested included remembering to thank him!  But the worse one of all — wear sexy lingerie while cleaning and tell him he can “help himself when the cleaning’s done”.    Honestly, if you’re going to whore yourself, you wanna get something better out of it than a few clean dishes.
  2. At Borders last night, I saw a book about how to get a man by thinking like one.  I wanted to know if it involved getting a labotomy.  The guy standing beside me wasn’t amused!  One of their suggestions was to NEVER say you’d slept with more than 5 guys — how is that thinking like a man? 
  3. I was also reading a guidebook to Japan, well understanding Japanese culture.  I got to the chapter on “relationships” and writer was going on about how Japanese women are the most beautiful in the world and how they love Western men (do they… ).  Anyway, he advised the reader that they should only pursue relationships with women in approved places – host bars, etc.  But never, under any circumstances, take these women out in public!  Oh no, you’ll just embarass the normal, decent people by doing that.He then went onto to say that when staying at a Japanese inn, just because the maid might help you get into your robe and will be going in and out of the room, you shouldn’t assume she’ll sleep with you — although she won’t be unaware of your virility! Oh yeah, I’m not making this shit up, meanwhile the poor maids are prolly thinking – why did I get the fat, hairy white man…He concluded by reminding the reader that there are ‘fungirls’ (or some word like that) and then there are women, and you shouldn’t treat them the same.Seriously, I want to hunt down the guy who wrote that book and, while wearing steel capped boots, kick him repeatedly in the nuts. Until he bleeds.
  4. Then to top it all off, on the way out of the Jam Factory, we decided to play one of those shooting games – awesome, it came with a pump action rifle.  We were having fun, shooting and pumping and laughing until this dude came over and started telling us how to do it “properly”.  WTF?  Why do guys always do that?  Always. This is my advice to all the men of the world: Unless I ask for your help with something, shut your freaken piehole! Oh, and enough with the stupid gestures when I’m trying to park. They really don’t help.

Anyway, the reason I was at the Jam Factory (other than to eat my body weight in choc tops and banana bread — oops) was to see the X Files movie.  I’d heard bad reviews about it but I really enjoyed it.  Gillian Anderson is so gorgeous – I love that she’s aged gracefully and looks like a beautiful woman not some plastic surgeried to death Hollywood star.  Billy Connelly was also awesome.  I’m not a fan at all but seeing him play a serious role (he plays a pedophile ex-priest, not many chuckles in that) really impressed me.

On the way to cinema, I saw the poster for the new Ben Stiller movie and thought it looked lame but they showed the preview and I nearly fell on the floor laughing – definitely must see that one when it comes out.


10 responses to “79 days to Japan: a rant about men!

  1. I do belive I have one of the last real wonderful men on the face of the earth! Most the others… you can keep! *lol*

  2. I also read that article… written by a man???


  3. WTF?? What paper were you reading….the Housewife Weekly from 1954? That’s the most patronising, backwards attitude I’ve heard for a loooong time.

    I straightened out the housework thing with my husband 20+ years ago. I informed him (in a calm, soft voice…yeah right! I was screaming like a banshee – major, MAJOR fight here!) that he was not HELPING ME when he vacuumed, that he was not BABYSITTING when I went out and left him with the kids (uh…aren’t they his kids too?), and that I was not going to thank him for any of that shit – unless he started thanking me.

    I actually saw the lighbulb go on, and he got it. Thank God. Now he does heaps more housework than I do…but shh, don’t tell him.

  4. Oh, and thaks for the X Files review – we’re going to see it tomorrow. Yippee!

  5. Go Kek! I was going to say that you forgot the one about “babysitting” their own children. Thank god for men with lightbulbs – we need more of them.

    BTW – I hope you raised your son to be the sort of man that you would want to have around… 🙂

  6. Ah yes, the man who “helps” around the house.

    Me and hubby have a deal. I clean inside, he does all the outside stuff.

    Works well in the summer, but winter always sees alot less work going on out there 🙄

    Which Ben Stiller movie was it?

  7. As a man, I’m almost frightened to respond to this post, but I will say it is a bit of a generalisation – not all men are “bad”.

    I agree about Gillian Anderson too, there was a picture of her in the paper a couple of weeks ago and she looked stunning.

  8. I loved every last word.

    How about the man puts on some sexy undies and does the freaking housework instead!

    As for number 3 if you need someone to hold that guy down while your kick him give me a bell.

    Glad someone finally said nice things about the X-Files movie, I haven’t see it yet but after being a die-hard fan I am keen (I am so lame I even called my cat Scully, kids today don’t even know what that means!)

  9. A very interesting post Kathryn. I was interested to find out that I can (currently) pass the test in No.2, but that is just by accident, that I do (genuinely) only have 4 previous bed partners (at the moment). Of course there is a chance that that number might grow in the next 10 years, and then when do I strat strategically editing the figures …? 😉

    Loved the stuff about housework as well — as I have wondered sometimes about that as well (mostly in theoretical ways with men who never became a serious item / partner) — but you, know, it’s nice to have a few clues in advance !!!

  10. Think I’ll save the sexy underwear for when I feel like wearing, not when I want the house cleaned!

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