85 days: Solutions

After my last post, I’ve been thinking about things going on in my life and some solutions for those issues.  After all, there is no point identifying issues without taking steps to rectify them.

One of the major issues I have is being in a situation where I’m powerless – problems with housemates and neighbours.  You tend to get the idea in this world of self-help and Oprahisms, that every problem can be resolved and that all you have to do is talk things out.  But that’s not always the case, is it?  What happens when you discuss things, you follow the rules but the other person just is like ‘so what?  screw you, buddy’. 

That’s the attitude I get from my housemates.  But I think too a lot of it is my own attitude.  I don’t like them being in MY house. I don’t like them at all.  I get tense when they are home even they aren’t doing a thing.  And that leads to other problems – I’ll go out to avoid them, and going out means going to a cafe where temptation is always an issue.  It also means eating, because that’s one way to deal with the problem.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.  I can’t move at the moment because I need to save money.  Plus rents are ridiculous at the moment.  And it’s insanely hard to find a place.  The thing is, I need to deal with this.  By overeating and using food to deal with it, I’m not hurting them at all just myself.  It’s not a solution.   I have to learn to deal with these emotions – and maybe just lighten the fuck up for a while.  The change needs to come from my own way of perceiving problems and then finding ways to deal with them, since I can change the problems themselves.

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4 responses to “85 days: Solutions

  1. Oh darl, that really sucks re: housemate situation. I know how you feel, you just reach a point where you’re so over sharing your space with other people and just want some privacy! And I liked my housemates most of the time, so I can’t even imagine how hard it must be if you really don’t like them at all!!

    You’re right, you need to deal with this. If moving right now is not an option, the only thing you can do is make the best of it. BUT give yourself a deadline for moving out – write down somewhere “I will move out of here by Christmas” or whatever, and have it somewhere so you can see it and look at it and remind yourself that you WILL get out of there within a reasonable amount of time.

    In the meantime, be as nice as you can, follow the rules so you can always hold your head up high and be proud that you never stooped to their level, and make your room an absolute haven so it’s a pleasure to be in there! Go out to the cafe, etc to get away from them by all means, but take your writing or knitting with you or something so you won’t use food as a distraction – and that way you’ve got a purpose for going out, it’s not just to escape the losers!

    It’s amazing how just doing these couple of things – and making peace with the situation in your own head – will really help.

    And it never hurts to put the word out, albeit subtly, to friends/coworkers that you’re looking for a place, even if realistically you can’t do it right now. Something might pop up when you least expect it.

  2. I think you have hit the nail on the head there. Your housemates don’t care what you are eating… they don’t even know!! You are the one who has to work it off later… and this just adds more crap for you to deal with.
    Be kind to yourself!

  3. Can you go out to a freind’s house, the library….anywhere where food is not the focus of sttention?

  4. Don’t come to my house, i’m eating my way out of house and home right now, i’m also avoiding issues. Dammit, why is life so hard?

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