I expected to weigh more today. I’ve been feeling blah all weekend – not being able to exercise and just totally out of sorts. It started with being hungover on Friday then just not getting my shit together all weekend so getting nothing productive done.
I think I have an insane need to be productive and to be organised. Without it, I get totally irritable and unhappy with myself. My sister has gotten into a system where she has a chart (with star stickers) for her important weekly goals. If she doesn’t achieve them, she has a predetermined penalty. I started doing this myself but I have no penalties! All my leisure activities relate to my goals – exercising, writing etc. Even stuff like watching TV or playing PS2, I usually do because she wants to do it. Left to my own devices, I’d not even think of doing that kind of stuff.
I think these things have their own momentum. Once I start getting organised, then I have time to be more organised and more productive. But, by starting the weekend off hungover, I’ve just gotten into disarray.
On Friday, I was supposed to go for a long run with Simon but, since I hurt my foot, instead I went over for lunch. Well I napped on the couch then got up and ate lunch then back to couch for napping. I woke up and said goodbye to them as they left for the airport to go to Brisbane for the weekend then more napping. I’m a great guest! Then I came home and watched Japan dramas.
Saturday, I slept most of the day then went to the football with my sister – St Kilda v Sydney (what a boring game). Then we came home and ate chocolate and watched more Japanese. Oh, I did manage to make it out of bed early to get Easter shopping done before the shops got insane.
Yesterday, I slept in again then got woken by Andy, ringing to say he was on his way over. Another game of footy – Adelaide v Bulldogs (which definitely wasn’t boring but heartwrenching) then more Japanese dramas and more chocolate. Oh yeah, I did manage to make a huge bowl of salad with bacon (Don 98% fat free bacon = awesome) and haloumi cheese plus a container to put away for later.
At least my foot is starting to feel better. I didn’t strap it or ice it — I’m slack like that — and I haven’t rested it much with all that walking up down ramps at Telstra Dome. I can’t believe I went to TWO games of football this weekend. I went to that many all season last year. I did do a cardio session on the exercise bike yesterday. I have no problems with the bike because I can keep my foot flat, it’s just bending it that hurts. And now my calf hurts – I think I’ve been holding my leg funny when I walk to protect my foot.
So I’m back to work tomorrow and feel like I’ve achieved nothing over the past 4 days. I guess what I’m trying to say in all this rambling is should I feel like I HAVE to achieve stuff? I guess I do, if my goals are important to me. I find the whole concept of “free” time hard to deal with – I spent years studying part time while working and then the last god knows how many years trying to fit writing projects in. I have no concept of being the kind of person who just gets home from work and veges out on the couch. When I have a slack weekend, I just get a truckload of guilt to go with it.
Anyway, I’ve got a shitload of stuff to get done before this weekend is over so I should get moving and get it done.