Dental Distress

I went to the dentist today.  I hate, hate, hate the dentist.  I’d rather do most things in life before going to the dentist… but I really needed to go.  I reckon I have about $500K of dental work to be done and it’s not going to do itself (damn it, how could would that be?)

So I made an appointment based purely on the fact that I liked this dentist’s website.  It’s prolly wrong but I judge businesses totally on their website even though it says alot more about their web designer than their business.

I spent the entire afternoon wanting to throw up – that’s how much I hate the dentist.  I’ve been traumatised — all through school I had to go to the school dental nurses.  They give these girls (they are always female) two years training and they become bitter, sadist bitches.

One time I had to have a floride treatment and they shoved this massive mouthguard type thing in my mouth.  I had this gross fluid that tasted like mouldy oranges pooling at the back of my throat making me retch and the bitch nurse yelled at me because I was ‘putting it on’.

I seriously did not realise that the injection was supposed to numb you completely until I went to a real dentist after I left school.  They’d jab you with a big-assed needle then start drilling immediately.  Then you’d have to go back to class at the needle started to work and you’d be drooling like an idiot.

And they were totally trigger-happy with that drill.  Any time you stood still for a minute, they’d be drilling your teeth.

My god, I hate the dentist.

Oh yeah, then when I was a poverty stricken single mother, I had to go to the free dentist.  They weren’t so bad although they’d rip your teeth out rather than look at more expensive options.

One time I had to get an extraction and they didn’t realise I had an abyss at the root.   They’d try to rip the tooth out and I’d scream like a banchee so they’d stick another needle in.  After the 8th injuection, they realised something was wrong but the tooth was half out by then so they had to keep going.  Have you ever had a tooth ripped out with anasthetic?  I have and I’ve been through childbirth and I know which one I prefer (although I certainly didn’t do drug free childbirth so I guess you can’t compare).

So anyway, I’ve had a very bad history with dentists and now, because I avoid them like the plaquey plague, I have bad teeth.  That adds an extra level of hate to the whole experience – the condesending dental lecture.  OMG, I think I’d prefer the pain to the lecture.  Maybe if dentists weren’t such sanctimonious pricks, people would go more often.

Despite all that, I was a big brave soldier today and fronted up for my appointment… although I had the death march (or maybe the Imperial March… some kind of not fun march anyways).

My dentist is kinda cool.  He reminds me of Mel Brooks and there were no lectures.  And no pain.  Not even financial — he did mention the RC words, those words that strike major hip pocket nerves then decided maybe a filling would do the trick (I broke half my tooth off chewing on a pen at work the other day — nasty, nasty habit).

I have to go back next week to get the filling checked out and get some kind of master plan happening.  That’s going to be $$$ but I guess I’m just going to have to suck it up.

Meanwhile between the waiting for x-rays and waiting around at the dentist, I got to read far too many magazines.  I can feel a new rant coming on soon – Rebecca Twigley, too dumb to live!


15 responses to “Dental Distress

  1. Oooh…sounds nasty.

  2. I used to be ok with the dentist until I had an AWFUL extraction 18 months ago and now I nearly vomit with terror.
    What’s Rebecca Twigley done now? Looking forward to the rant 🙂

  3. My dentist told me the next time I have trouble with a certain molar he would have to pull it out. I’ll have to have general anasetic because that’s the only way I’m going to lie still on a dentist chair thanks to childhood horrors with the dentist. Though I think you have outdone me in that respect.

    I have had childbirth without drugs and believe me the pain doesn’t come close to the horrors of the dentist.

  4. yeah i dont love dentists either.its always good if you find one you like though

  5. sorry, saw the word dentist and couldn’t read on! I hate em that much! Last time I HAD TO GO they stuck a needle in me arm and made me go to sleep, I’m that bad! Hope it all went well… ain’t gunna read it!

  6. What school dental nurses? They never came to my neck of the woods….thank goodness, it seems.

    I LOVE my dentist. He’s so cool, he even convinced me a few years to have fillings without anaesthetic – MUCH better than all those needles and the numbness and drooling and biting off chunks of your own lip along with your sandwich….

    Oh, and he definitely never lectures. Just tells really bad jokes.

  7. I don’t like dentists either because you only ever go really to be told something needs doing – even just a clean can be a yukky experience. I do have a great dentist who has known me since I was a wee girl and I am dreading the day he retires! Yep – just gotta suck it up unfortunately – we all do. Private Health insurance helps the hip pocket too!

  8. I worked as a Receptionist in a Dental Surgery for 12 months and some of the things I saw – OMG!!

    I’m very lucky that I have good teeth, probably due to my Mother hassling me every day for 16 years to brush my teeth 🙄

  9. I can’t even say the “D” word. Last time I went I cried so much and I couldn’t open my mouth at all. I left with no result cos they didn’t get near me. What a waste of time AND money.
    Not going back, don’t care if my teeth rot AND fall out.
    They said “RC” to me too, fark that – i’d rather have a new car!

  10. I also say no to the injection- the numbness annoys me more than the pain hurts.

  11. Oh well, that is one less dentist visit you have to go through now that that one is over!

  12. Oh you poor thing! I hope your dental stuff all works out. On Tuesday I am going to the dentist to start my second root canal… I had one this time last year… I waited 6 years to go to the dentist as I knew I needed a root canal and I hate needles and all things dental, even though I have had a ridiculous amount of dental stuff done (including lots of cosmetic stuff)… and some damage was done from the wait. Reading so many root canal horror stories online didn’t help… I reckon a lot of people in Melbourne have great teeth due to the fluoride in the water! Anyway, I survived my root canal, and I absolutely love my new dentist! He is my boyfriend’s dentist from way back. He is hilarious and really good at giving needles (he is scared of them himself!) I actually literally skipped down the street after my first root canal session, as it wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting!!! I moved up North, and I still travel to the other side of town to see him.

  13. as long as you hav’nt gone there then you can not say that you hate your dentist !

  14. I have bad teeth too. Most of it is genetic. Finding a dentist that isn’t going to judge your or talk down to you is hard. But once you do… you keep ’em!

  15. Preventative Dental Health is so much less painful and more affordable! Make yourself go every 6 months (at least) and prevent gum disease and expensive treatments.

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