Pretending

pssst… I have some exciting news over here–> 

A few weeks ago, I started a new contract role and had to wait in reception for someone to collect me.  On the same day, another Kathryn started in the same department as an admin temp.  Of course there were the expected confusions and shenanigans but it all got sorted out.

Later in the day, I sat huddled in my little cubicle and I heard the other Kathryn tell the story.  Someone said to her, ‘you could have just pretended to be an IT consultant’, and they all laughed.  Except me – I thought that’s not so hard, I do it every day.

Sometimes I look around all the professional people walking around the office and wonder if they all do it.  If everyone else feels like a 12 year old dressed up in a suit and making believe that they are really grown up.

Do you actually reach a point in life where you are the person you pretend to be?  I don’t even know if I want to – heaven forbid that I ever get TOO mature – but it feels so wrong sometimes.  I should be living life for real not just as a game.

You know what I don’t understand – people who say they ‘live life to the full’.  What does that even mean?  Of course most people only say it on their RSVP profile so maybe it doesn’t mean anything.  It makes me feel like I should be racing around from one Xtreme sport to another – jumping out of planes or some other Point Break-esque thing.

But is that really living life to the full, when you’re having to manufacture some experience to feel alive?  But what do you do?  At any point in time, there is an infinite number of possible things I could be doing and which one of those is the fullest?  By the time I work that out, the moment’s long gone and my head spins to the point where I need a nap!

How do people do it?  Do you think you’re living your life the best way you can?

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7 responses to “Pretending

  1. Not yet, but I hope to soon.

  2. Very interesting post Kathryn…. I think we all live life to the full …. if we are happy … that should be the most important thing. Being happy doing whatever it is that makes us happy, and that could be jumping out of a bloody plane or reading a book in bed. Only we know …who is the judge? Ourselves me thinks.

  3. absolutely not 😦

  4. I don’t know about living life to the full- but I know what it feels like when you are just existing for the sake of it and I try to avoid that feeling. Congratulations on the publishing (and join the party on the weight loss/gain cycle of frustration!)

  5. No I am not and it is something that is really bothering me at the moment, problem is I am not a risk taker 😦

    Congrats on being included in the anthology, that is a real coup you should be very proud.

  6. I wish I knew the answer to that Kathryn. I think I’m doing a pretty good job with my life and then I hear that someone else has done “whatever thing I haven’t done that sounds like something someone mature and sensible would have done” and I think I have absolutely no idea about anything.

    All that said, I’m having a pretty good time at the moment.

    Congrats on the story publication.

    PS I’m in Melbourne this weekend. I hope you are too. I’ll give you a call about catching up.

  7. Definitely not growing up and D gets annoyed with me whenever I try to enforce grown up attitudes in our house – very annoyed. Living life to the fullest? I think for me it’s about doing stuff I want to do and actually doing it. I feel like I’m doing that now, as best as. There’s just not enough hours in the bloody day! I think if anything, it means that you’re not just sitting on your arse watching life go by. How sad would that be. It’s much more fun to engage 🙂

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