I’m feeling awesome today. Yesterday after our training run and buying lots of yum food at the Vic Market, Simon dropped me off at my house and adjusted the seat on my bike so I feel more confident riding it.This morning I felt like I should go out for a ride. I didn’t want to but the only way I’m going to learn and get better is by doing it. I planned to just ride around some of the quiet streets near here and headed off very shaky and scared.
I crossed the Merri Creek footbridge and headed down the Capital City trail thinking I’d get to the St Georges Rd intersection and turn around (around .5 km) but I got there and kept going. I ended up riding to Princes Park and back.
I just hit a point somewhere along the way where “Oh my god, I’m going to die” became “Oh my god, I’m having the most fun ever.” Instead of braking to go down hills – hills being tiny little declines in the path – I sped up. Instead of dismounting for every tricky bit ahead, I kept on going. I just started to get it.
Yay! I’ve been feeling shitty the last few days, like I’m crap at everything I do. I’ve probably said before that I’m okay with being crap at things, but I didn’t really mean it. I meant that I’m okay with being crap at things for a little while until I improve.
But that’s not honest. To truly be okay with being crap at stuf, you have to go out there day after day and be crap at them and not care that you’re crap. Not even care that you’ll be crap if you do them for the rest of your life.
There’s only one way you can do that – you have to love doing something so much. If you love the process then who gives a rat’s arse about the results?
So I may not be the best runner or the best bike rider or the best writer or the best singer or the best weight loser in the world. I may not even be the best in Northcote or in my house but who’s judging these things anyway? I’m the best at having fun!
ps. are my quads supposed to hurt THIS much?