Today, while browsing through a magazine, I read one of those articles about the pro-ana sites that they seem to trot out to stir up public outrage when news is slow.  As I read through the article, I realised that a tiny part of me deep in the murky depths of my brain could actually see the attraction of anorexia and that’s a really scary thing.

It’s not about being thin.  Who wants to be an ugly skeleton?  Recently we went to see Atonement and the sight of Keira Knightly’s emaciated body in skimpy clothes made me feel physically ill.  You could see every freaken vertebrae in her back.  And a cleavage-revealing dress is kinda pointless when you have NO TITS.

So if it’s not about being thin, what’s the appeal?  What the little voice said was that I’d be in control.  I’d win!  Win what?  I have no idea but there’s that seed somewhere in my head.

It’s scary.  I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this but my Nan and her sister were very competitive with each other regarding weight loss.  When my great aunty died, she’d been living for years and years on mostly black coffee and cigarettes.  That’s definitely not a healthy or happy way to live.

Of course, I love food far too much to ever be able to do anything like that.


I had a great day in the city today.  After my interview, I headed to Borders for a coffee and browsed through some mags (including that article above).  Then I wandered into Myer and booked in for a complimentary facial.  With an hour to kill, I went down to the Arts Centre to check out the Nick Cave exhibition.  Interesting stuff, esp the little notebooks he made with found pictures.

Before the facial, they tested my skin.  I have 99% elasticity, which is apparently outstanding for my age.  I wanted to ask them about the skin on my body but didn’t really want to flop my belly out in the middle of Myers.  I got all facialled up then walked home.

I start the new job tomorrow so figure I should make the most of my last day of freedom tomorrow.  Hopefully I can get in for a massage.


9 responses to “Thin

  1. You wanna see something scary, I stumbled on to a forum for people who either A) aspire to be as fat as they possibly can or B) want to be with and feed those in group A. Funnily enough I found the site via a link from a US running forum.

    It was scary scary stuff, kind of like a car accident really, you don’t want to look, but you do and then wish you hadn’t.

    The Ana sites are just as freaky. I tried a 40 hour famine once when I was in high school, that was more than enough for me. Food just tastes too damn good.

  2. We saw Atonement a couple of weeks ago. What a weird movie – I didn’t enjoy it much. Funnily enough my reaction to Kiera’s body was slightly different to yours 🙂

  3. My first encounter with the diet / fitness blog genre came via an interest in the ana sites. I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I found 200 calorie/ day diets and bad motivational writing and stuff like that. I found it horrifying and fascinating, the convergence of discourses on the body, illness, obsession and media.

    I can’t stand Nick Cave but i’m interested in how they’ve curated that exhibition. Now i want to go too! Good luck with the new job.

  4. Have you seen that doco thing that the two british journalists did? Think it was called superskinny me? They both had to spend so many weeks doing crazy diets and exercising crazily to see if they could get into child’s jeans. One of the journo’s had to be pulled out because within weeks she was mentally obsessing and bordering with issues re bulima. Was really insightful.

  5. I think the danger is when you start looking at those sites and keep looking. Working in Media messes with me a little but I try to keep a distance so I dont get caught up in the bullsh*t. A little here, a little there and then it takes over your life by just creeping up on you! It’s good to re-assess why you find it fascinating and why you don’t as well. Shudder, it’s so sad that people think they need to be “skinny” and will go to extremes. I just want to be healthy really.

    Nick Cave *drool*. That man is an artist! I was stupid enough to miss that exhibition when we were down. Maybe I can still see it….

    I hope you enjoyed your last day of freedom 🙂

  6. I reckon the only appeal to being that skinny would be the idea of eating whatever you liked until you got to be normal size again.

    Good luck with the job.

  7. i love that you pamper yourself crazy! massage and facial sounds devine in readiness to start a new job!

  8. I can see the attraction too – I think the lure is that it “sounds” (not IS, don’t anyone flame me) much easier to lose weight with anorexia than to manage it with diet and exercise and discipline in a normal healthy life. Struggling with my weight shits me but it’s in the context of a rich life – it’s just a bit too rich sometimes.
    Enjoy the new job 🙂

  9. I’m skipping the ana section as my brain does not compute the idea of me skinny.

    Sounds like a good day. Glad you enjoyed the facial.

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