Memory Lane

Today I went over to my storage space.  I’d planned to run over and take some of my books from around the house and swap them for other ones (kinda like a library but with my own books).  I nixed that plan because 1. it was raining and 2. books are heavy, so ended up driving.

I’ve not been to my storage space in close to a year and it was a weird experience.  Instead of just grabbing some books, I started going through boxes.  I’ve mentioned this before but to recap: I put most of my stuff in storage a couple of years ago when I got evicted from my house.  That whole period of my life just reeked of upheaval – getting tossed out onto the street, having to store most of my possessions (the rest I just left behind for the evil landlords to deal with), having Andrew move into his own place, no job, no money, nothing.

Around that time, I’d made the decision to lose weight and refused to let a few personal problems get in the way.  I lived an incredibly spartan life for the 12 months or so after that, trying to get back on my feet and lost 40 kgs.

Going through those boxes today was like entering a world I’d left behind.  So much crap.  So many things I want to get rid of but feel like I can’t – because they cost too much money or they were gifts.  It made me realise how much of my life I’ve spent shopping.  I’ve got some beautiful things, but they really mean nothing to me.

I did find one thing I wanted.  Years ago, when I was about 18, my nanna gave me a marquasite necklace that belonged to her grandmother.  It’s a very gorgeous and very delicate.  I tried to wear it a few times but something so tiny and intricate just highlighted how big and lumpy I was.  It never felt right.  When I lost weight, I decided to get it out of storage but I couldn’t find it.  I’d had a day to pack and had just thrown random items into which ever box they’d fit.  That necklace could have been anywhere in any box.  I looked a few times after that but figured it’d turn up one day.

Today I opened a box and saw a (very ugly) crystal jewellry holder thingie.  I checked inside and found the necklace.  I put it on, finally being able to wear it and feel right.

That was the only treasure amongst the growing pile of junk – manuals for things I don’t own any more, obsolete computer cables, clothes I’ll never wear again, books I didn’t enjoy the first time.  In mid-sort, with a thousand boxes blocking my way out of the space, the office guy came around to tell me that they were closing in 5 minutes.  I’d not even thought about the time.  I shoved most of the stuff back in, willy-nilly and unsorted, leaving only with a couple of boxes of rubbish and one to take home- mostly Christmas decorations.

Since I got home, I’ve had an unsettled feeling that I can’t quite name.  It’s like I’ve walked back into the remains of a life I left behind.  Or been sorting through a dead person’s things.  Those possessions are mine and yet they aren’t any more.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do with them – probably leave them in storage for another year without going back.

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12 responses to “Memory Lane

  1. Most of my belongings are in storage too Kathryn. I don’t really know why I hang on to them. Probably similar reasons – some of them were expensive, many were gifts, they’d probably cost a fortune to replace when I do decide to move back into a house of my own.

    What amazes me is that I keep getting more stuff. I’m renting a furnished apartment in Canberra but there’s so much of my stuff around now. The Gods of Consumerism must love me.

    It must be a terrific feeling to be able to wear your Nanna’s Nanna’s necklace. Well done you.

  2. I reckon go back soon and do a huge clean out. Maybe pick the things you want and invite your friends over for a ‘take-what-you-want’ party. You’re not that person and those things are wasting your energy.
    But then I’m a huge chucker-outer married to a hoarder, chucking things out is heaven to me.
    I am so glad you feel right in your necklace now.

  3. What a wonderful feeling it must have been to find your Great Grandmothers necklace and wear it with the feeling that it now belongs 🙂

    I am the worst hoarder, stuff that I know has to go but I can’t bring myself to do it. I hate not being able to throw things out!!

  4. Maybe start the new year with a clean out and put the unpleasantness of the past behind you. Maybe you can even get rid of the storage space and spend the money on new shoes 🙂

    The only Kathryn I know is funny, smart and pretty together in a chaotic sort of way, hang on to that chick and leave the old one behind.

    So glad you found the necklace.

  5. What a weird feeling that must have been. I’m glad you found one treasure (the necklace) from your ‘past life’ worth holding onto. If it all means nothing to you I suggest getting rid of it… you have moved on and got a new and better life now eh?

  6. I reckon sort it out, I love sorting out and getting rid of clutter. Sell anything you can on Ebay and YES definitely spend the money on shoes!!
    You do understand though that even though you haven’t needed any of that stuff for ages, the very day after you get rid of it all, there will be something you got rid of that you will all of a sudden desperately need – it’s Murphy’s Law!! :0)

  7. I’d vote for the clean out and “garage sale” approach too. Decide what is important to you and try and get convert the rest into some currency.

  8. awesome to find thatnecklace…obviously its the ‘right time’

  9. ebay!!

    And that necklace sounds divine.

    I just went through my garage a couple of months ago and cleared out all the shit, we have gone from about 20 boxes to three. But there are still things that we have that we can’t throw away. Believe me, we need to, can’t move to Aussie with heaps of crap,but I need to do it on a day when I feel strong.

  10. Excellent post. Your writing made me feel as if I could have been a fly on the wall watching it all. I had so many emotions (similar to yours) while doing the very same thing. I read your blog regularly and really enjoy your posts. Thanks.

  11. Mmm Interesting post, i have been doign a big clean out myself lately. Probably at this time of year a few people do an extra clean out to make way for bringing some new things, energy in for NY. However i have been doing a really bigger cleanout than usual. All of a sudden a lot of things in my room just seemed to be taking up energy and makign it hard to see the new energy coming in.
    i read Mars is retrograde in Cancer at the moment, cancer rules the home nad even things like working from home, sentimental family items, and the like especially.
    So yep i did a big clean and found some treasures i had lost, and i also created a new energy with some of the things that i had and wanted to keep but which seemed to not feel right. Like i moved my vitamins from eye level at my pc, and put them in a lovely new little box, and put a special affirmation of health and good healing energy on teh lid.
    it took a long time, but i am already saving a heap of time each day i go to dress or find something. And some lovely found sarongs and some memorabilia are already brightening up my room.
    i might of got 200 or more in a garage sale but i just decided that apart from that meaning i would never get around to it, i realized i have made a really nice donation to charity at this time of year, and that someone will love some of hte things i donated.
    With clothes and magazines i did not know where to begin, so i just told myself find a few things like a small bag load of clothes, and the least likely to ever read again mags. i still kept some favorite clothes that i do not currently wear, as my criteria was does this feel good in my cupboard when i see it, and i realized i had a couple of things i never wear due to bad memories attached to that time,or due to the fact that item always looked bad on me but i had held onto it in the past from a sense of lack and worry that there was not enoough, like if i do not keep a skirt that never suited me, i will not have a spare skirt, i noticed now my son has grown up i feel more confident to afford another skirt when i need one, no need to hold on from fear of povery now. felt great to release them.

  12. It is amazing that we hold onto things for so long – without knowing really why – but putting a price on things keeps us from gretting rid of it when we don’t need to. I know how that feels. My house, under my house, in every cupboard, is reflection of that same feeling.

    I say spend some time thinking about a few key things you want to keep – find them and then open the storage container up for a free for all – just make sure you don’t have any “Paris type” photos in there 🙂

    Have a Merry Christmas Kathryn. x

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