I had to go to the optometrist today to get my eyes tested for glaucoma and stuff like that. I HATE this test with a passion – they squirt all kinds of awful stuff in your eyes and then afterwards you can’t see properly for ages. I get really angry with them even though it isn’t their fault because they’re hurting me, a lot. I have the world’s most sensitive eyes and letting someone purposely hurt them is going against everything instinctual in me.
While I was waiting, I started getting the guilts about putting the test off for so long. I mean it’s one thing to be slack when it’s just about getting glasses but this is about a disease that is preventable and can ruin your eyes.
The optometrist, who was this 12 year old kid (I almost asked him if his name was Doogy Howzer), did the routine tests. I couldn’t read the bottom line of the chart! OMG, that really threw me. I have the world’s greatest eye sight. I have like supervision. I can ALWAYS read the bottom line of the chart. I can read the tiny “made in Taiwan” under the bottom line of the chart! I think his chart was faulty. My eye sight is not faulty… no way. It was 9.30 am and I was still half asleep so I did consider going back in the afternoon and demanding a retest!
After that, he put the crap in my eyes. I didn’t hurt nearly as much as last time and he didn’t cuss at me like the last one did (Northcote optometrists must be better than Footscray ones cos the last one hurt like hell with the first eye then cussed at me for not wanting to open my second eye!).
I had to wait 20 minutes in the shop with my eye sight increasingly blurring. I couldn’t read a magazine (though don’t have them for you to read anyway, which is kind of sensitive I feel) so I put on my ipod and waited. You know, it’d suck to be blind and deaf like Helen Keller because I felt as vulnerable as hell with my lack of sight and hearing. And she had total silence, not just Enter Sandman blaring in her ears (although total silence might be preferable to Metallica come to think of it… why was I even listening to that song?)
Went in and had very painful tests. Bright lights shining in my dilated pupils = not fun at all.
My eyes are totally awesome! That’s the general gist of it. I don’t need glasses even though I couldn’t read the bottom line either although I have to be careful.
Afterwards, I got myself a little cake for being a big, brave soldier during the nasty eye test. I also got a cowboy hat to protect my weak, blurred vision. It’s a green kids cowboy hat from K-Mart; I can’t wear an adult one because of my novelty undersized head! Then since K-Mart so nicely were having a “Buy one item of clothing, get the second one 60% off” sale – my eye sight was definitely up to seeing those signs – I got a cute sundress and a new pair of bathers! Woot.
I’m so cool – just checked and my dress and bathers are really spiffy even though I purchased them when unable to see properly!