I went for a run last night and had some thinking time. I weighed in at 80.7 kgs yesterday and that’s a full 10 kilogram GAIN this year. I realised that when I was losing weight and losing it consistently, I’d made weight loss my #1 priority in life. I haven’t done that for the last year.
I want to lose 15 kgs and I reckon if I devote another 6 months of my life to losing it, I can do it. After all I’ve done it before, it’s not so hard once you get the momentum going.
I don’t want to do it yet. There’s a lot of popular thought that says you shouldn’t put these decisions off – “I’ll start the diet on Monday” type mentality but I say screw that. At the moment, I’m on a merry-go-round of half arsed weight loss efforts. I spend a lot of mental space thinking about losing weight but I don’t make the decisions to back that up. Instead of going through all the thinking about eating well then deciding to go out for dinner and few drinks and the subsequent guilty – I’m going to take a few months off then come back in the new year with renewed resolve.
This is the plan:
Step 1 – get under 80 kgs in the next 2 weeks (before I go to Tassie)
Step 2 – maintain weight until the new year. I don’t want to use NOT dieting as an excuse for all kinds of excesses; I know I have to lose this weight and I don’t want 15 kgs ballooning out to 20 kgs or more! I want to go back to the basic principle I used when I started losing weight: before eating anything I’d ask myself if I really wanted it. That cut out so much boredom eating.
Step 3 – weight loss mode. Lose 15 kgs.
Interestingly, I asked myself if I’m not trying to lose weight then what would I cut out in my exercise program. The answer was nothing. Everything I do exercise-wise, I do becauseI enjoy it. I love running and I love doing weights and I really love my boxing and yoga classes. I even love the interval sessions on my exercise bike (when I’ve finished them). I don’t exercise for weight loss any more, I don’t even exercise because it’s good for my health. I exercise for fun. I can’t imagine giving any of it up.
There also a couple of issues I want to think about. Often with weight loss, we tend to look at the negative side of our behaviour: why do we eat so much, why does bread/sugar/whatever make me go into a binge, why can’t I control my eating? But I want to know what prompts “good”, healthy decision making.
No matter where you are in your weight loss or how out of control you feel, no one makes bad decisions ALL the time. Instead of trying to curb or stop the bad habits, I want to encouraged the good decisions.
For example, when I go to buy my morning coffee there is always a couple of choices of muffins and scones at the work cafe. Most mornings I don’t even think about buying them – I’ve had a filling breakfast and have fruit etc for morning tea. There’s no temptation at all. Other mornings I get something because I really want it – that’s the days they have the walnut and date scones because they are my favourites (and one scone every couple of weeks isn’t going to kill me). Other mornings I don’t really want anything and definitely don’t need it, yet I still buy that damn muffin. Rather than focus on that, I want to focus on why I can walk past the bakery items most mornings. I think if I can work that one out, I’ll have made a big breakthrough.