Since I’m pretty much socially retarded when it comes to men – not having evolved since the year 1 hitting and giggling stage (I’ve not even made it to “Do you like me? Tick a box” notes yet), I thought I’d ask your advice on something.

If you like a dude how do you:

  1. find out if he’s already in a relationship/straight/available?
  2. work out if he’s interested (esp if its in an environment where you have to be carefullish, as opposed to a pub where you can just walk up to someone ask ‘spose a root’s out of the question?’)

Ha, see how socially retarded I am?


19 responses to “Men…

  1. How retarded can you be. You do have Andrew! I have no answers though.

  2. Having been a single parent for years, staying home or working while others dated, i can relate to that feeling of needing to start off from what i knew in year 10: not much back then i can tell you.
    So i will be interested in whoever can give some advice on this liking a dude scenario.
    i once made the mistake of bowling up and saying i liked a guy. That just made him self conscious and running. Most women i have spoken with noticed their man before he thought to approach them. Often we only get drunk sleeze bags approaching us if we wait to be approached.

    So i started taking notes from an expert friend of mine. She has found ways to get closer to just about any guy she fancies. I have never seen her lower herself to ever throw herself at them, she just manages to show her interest by taking an interest in the guy. She is not scared to go right up to a guy and comment on his shirt, or his music taste, or notice he works out. She then asks the guy about what food he likes, or whether he likes basketball or whatever. She laughs and has fun iwth the guy, and even guys who are taken feel complimented. As she gets to know the guy, maybe minutes, maybe a couple of different conversations, she often asks about pet dogs or whatever, and looks to see if he says “we” or “I” and whether he is giving her the eye or not. i also noticed she talks and laughs about her own love of sport or whatever a lot. Then she sometimes twirls around to model and show her new dress or something. Nothing too crude, just flirteous. Works just about every time.
    good luck with meeting the dudes, maybe practice on some you are not so keen on first?

  3. Just ask him. Just be yourself. That’s my advice.

  4. Maybe you should try the bend and snap. You need to see Legally Blonde to know what I’m talking about.
    Jasmine has come up with some good suggestions. Ask lots of questions, men love talking about themselves.

  5. Hmm, “ask him” springs to mind.
    If that’s too hard, ask someone else about him.

    Work your way around to it – ask him what he does outside work. Some answers are dead giveaways – eg “me and the wife take the kids to sport”.

    Have fun finding out the answers. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. LOL- Debbie – love the “bend and snap” suggestion!!!

    I reckon jasmines suggestions are pretty right on – be who you are, talk about what you love doing, ask relevant interested questions and at the end of the day he WILL start to make it obvious if he is interested.

    One of both the most depressing yet somehow liberating and enlightening reads of all time for me was the book, “he’s just not that into you” – try and get hold of a copy- but i guess the premise is that we chicks spend a whole lot of time trying to figure out if a guy is really into us when in reality if he is he will let it be known. Granted this can be a little more confusing/slow in a work or more delicate type situation, so just work on the “becoming good mates” thing with him and see where it goes from there….

  7. PS – if all else fails wait till the work xmas party and then get blind drunk and go with the “spose a r*$t out of the question?” approach….you will well and truly know one way or the other then!!! – LOL – could make for an awkward new year though!!!

  8. PPS Especially if his wife is there at the time…..

  9. me and my friend kel have a question that works every single time, “wanna fuck?”

    nah – jut joking! Make a move!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Don’t ask me! Just because I have a new love doesn’t mean I have any idea how it happened! Mind you, I have known him for years anyway.

  11. What I’ve done and what has worked in the past for is ask them to go for a drink or go see a band with me. If they’re single they say yeah and it their not, they say yeah too *jokes*! Nah, most guys are straight up I’ve found. You’ll find out quick if you ask them out on a casual date like this. Oooh, so you’ve got your eye on someone!?

  12. *They’re* not *their* and all the rest of it. Blogging makes me lazy. Bah.

  13. I think ask them for a root – works every time ๐Ÿ™‚

    Just be yourself, you have so much to offer, and you have the humour to deflect a less than postive response..

    Go for it.

    And then tell us LOL

  14. Ask him if he has any kids, and go from there. Stepkids, stepmom, etc. Then you could let something slip about Andrew’s Dad indicating that you’re single (and looking?).

    Not that I’m any expert…

    Oh, and as to the root question. If that’s *all* you want from him, then fire away. If you actually like the guy, then try something that’ll keep the conversation going for a bit longer.

  15. Feakin’ hell, I am as socially retarded as you are, totally and utterly clueless, if I am ever single again I am in a whole lotta trouble.

    I reckon just try not to put them on a pedestal (let’s face it, most men do that perfectly fine by themselves)cos it makes it harder to talk to them and just chat and find some common ground. I figue they will drop the old “my girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/pet goat loves that too” soon enough if they want to make it known they are off the market.

  16. I was going to say exactly what M said – too funny. Good luck Kathryn.

  17. Ah, gawd, I was (and still am) such a social retard! I just got talking to guys, some guys ran after 2 seconds calling me a “weirdo”, others stuck around. I had a series of drunken encounters and really crap pseudo dates before I met my man. I never asked a guy out, it was always just a “let’s meet at the ‘Dale/Sando/Hoey/Club 77, see xyz band and drink some beers” type situation.

  18. Organise drinks with a few people and invite him along, that way he’s not suss to you wanting to root him until after you’ve had a few margaritas and then you can use “THE” line! hehe

  19. umm im pretty crap at it..guys usually tell me pretty quick when they have gfs(and im sur ethats sometimes even when they dont lol)

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