I used to devour diet magazines (not literally, although sometimes I’d devour a packet of Tim Tams while reading them), especially the success stories. The greater the weight loss, the more I loved it, but I never read them from the point of view of a success I could emulate. I’ll be totally honest here. I’d love to see how fat people could get so I’d feel better about myself – I might be fat, but I’m not THAT fat. Like someone else’s weight, negated my own.

Since I’ve lost weight, those stories bore me. I don’t need the reassurance that I’m not the fattest person in the world for starters but also the diet magazines are so formulaic. They’re written to a template with only the names and quotes changed *yawn*. If I want to read about weight loss, I’m spoilt by the real stories I read everyday – people like Shauna and Sue and Mary (just for starters) who don’t into a shiny, happily ever after format but have good days and bad days and who battle through. You don’t get that in a magazine.

Then there are the stories that make me really mad – the supermodel diet secrets! One word people – genetics. What the hell does a model know about ordinary weight loss? Nothing. Here’s how a model is made – you take a skinny teenager (preferably prepubescent), put them in a fake world full of drugs, make them throw up everything they eat, take photos of them and airbrush out any faults then tell the world they have to look like that. They have no secrets that I’m buying.

And, while I’m in rant mode, I never want to see another photo of that freak Victoria Beckham again. Did she die sometime around 10 years ago and they just keep dragging her corpse out? Is it like Weekend At Posh’s? Cos that’s what she looks like. She has the exact same expression on her face in every photo and I swear she stole it off some demon on Buffy. It likes like some tough old leathery mask and she always has her head down because she’s so skinny and depleted she hadn’t the strength to support it. She wasn’t even a good Spice Girl. She’s like fifth on the list of Spice Girls in order of goodness. Every time I see a picture of her, I want to throw up and not in a she-looks-so-good-I-want-to-emulate-her way but in a turning me off my food way. Don’t publish her diet tips, for everyone’s sake. In fact, never publish another photo of her ever again.

Finally, I don’t know if anyone else thinks this is wrong but in Slimming Magazine, they have Ando (is that the guy’s name) from the Biggest Loser giving diet advice. I mean the dude might have lost a lot of weight but he did it by going on a tv show and following orders. I hardly think that makes him a weight loss expert!

15 responses to “Magazines

  1. PMSL- Every word is the truth- who cares about Posh with her 12 year old boy body- does anyone find that sexy who is not some weird pervert?

  2. Adro’s in Slimming Magazine? I agree with you, while he lost a ton of weight, he did it in a controlled environment. He had temptations locked away from him.

    Don’t get me started on so called Posh Spice. My favourite nickname for her is Skeletor, she’s truly a repulsive person. She has diet tips? Do they include nibbling lettuce leaves and drinking your weight in champagne? People like her make me rant and rave like a lunatic.

  3. I find Diet mags really boring too now but I *love* the recipes. Man, how many different ways can you say “eat well and exercise”!! I am sick of reading about all the quick cures and programs around also. So yeah, I stopped reading them.

    Victoria Beckham is disgusting! Skeletor comes to mind and that is so not sexy. Give me a real woman like Isabella Rossellini.

    Thanks for the plug *blush*. You just metioned my favourite bloggers, including yourself! šŸ™‚

  4. LOL how funny, I didn’t see Sarah’s “Skeletor” comment ’til after I posted mine! šŸ™‚

  5. I hear you loud and clear!
    My goal his year is to not buy any mag with ‘diet secrets’, ‘lose fat fast’ or ‘drop a dress size by saturday’ on the cover. It’s absolute bull %*#^ !!!!
    If you look in the shops this week, every mag has these headlines! grrrrr!!!!!!

  6. true, true, true & true. And another reason I come to your blog – real person, real weightloss, real challenges.

  7. Oh Amen! How is it that a contestant from a reality show knows more about fitness than any of us who sit in the trenches and do it by ourselves? Bah!

  8. True and funny!!!!!!!!!

  9. happy new year spunky pants!

  10. LMAO Kathryn – I love this post and have to agree with everything you have to say, especially Vicotoria Beckham – she seriously needs to eat some food!

  11. Victoria Beckham and diet tips???? You mean she actually eats food?

  12. Oh I forgot to add Adro has become a qualified Personal Trainer and has his own website where he doles out info on dieting and exercise and it even has a forum. I’m afraid I didn’t make a note of the website I didn’t find it all that interesting.

  13. The main thing I don’t like about weight loss stories in magazines is the “I was fat and worthless and miserable, but now I’m thin and happy and solving the world’s problems” formula. Not all big people are unhappy – I certainly wasn’t. And losing weight doesn’t solve everything.

  14. Hahaha I cracked up about your Weekend at Posh’s comment – it’s exactly what I think. My favourite Posh story is that she had her arse ENLARGED for the advert for her and becks new perfume. Classic.

  15. HA.. I had that same conversation at our WW meeting with a gorup a=of ladies about Adro.. and I was shot down in flames for suggesting that we wasn’t worthy!!!
    Glad that someone else thinks the same!!

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