I used to devour diet magazines (not literally, although sometimes I’d devour a packet of Tim Tams while reading them), especially the success stories. The greater the weight loss, the more I loved it, but I never read them from the point of view of a success I could emulate. I’ll be totally honest here. I’d love to see how fat people could get so I’d feel better about myself – I might be fat, but I’m not THAT fat. Like someone else’s weight, negated my own.
Since I’ve lost weight, those stories bore me. I don’t need the reassurance that I’m not the fattest person in the world for starters but also the diet magazines are so formulaic. They’re written to a template with only the names and quotes changed *yawn*. If I want to read about weight loss, I’m spoilt by the real stories I read everyday – people like Shauna and Sue and Mary (just for starters) who don’t into a shiny, happily ever after format but have good days and bad days and who battle through. You don’t get that in a magazine.
Then there are the stories that make me really mad – the supermodel diet secrets! One word people – genetics. What the hell does a model know about ordinary weight loss? Nothing. Here’s how a model is made – you take a skinny teenager (preferably prepubescent), put them in a fake world full of drugs, make them throw up everything they eat, take photos of them and airbrush out any faults then tell the world they have to look like that. They have no secrets that I’m buying.
And, while I’m in rant mode, I never want to see another photo of that freak Victoria Beckham again. Did she die sometime around 10 years ago and they just keep dragging her corpse out? Is it like Weekend At Posh’s? Cos that’s what she looks like. She has the exact same expression on her face in every photo and I swear she stole it off some demon on Buffy. It likes like some tough old leathery mask and she always has her head down because she’s so skinny and depleted she hadn’t the strength to support it. She wasn’t even a good Spice Girl. She’s like fifth on the list of Spice Girls in order of goodness. Every time I see a picture of her, I want to throw up and not in a she-looks-so-good-I-want-to-emulate-her way but in a turning me off my food way. Don’t publish her diet tips, for everyone’s sake. In fact, never publish another photo of her ever again.
Finally, I don’t know if anyone else thinks this is wrong but in Slimming Magazine, they have Ando (is that the guy’s name) from the Biggest Loser giving diet advice. I mean the dude might have lost a lot of weight but he did it by going on a tv show and following orders. I hardly think that makes him a weight loss expert!