It’s taken me a long time to realise this, but I think I’m really a very energetic person. Who’d have thunk it?
I started out life as a ball of energy apparently. I was 15 months old when my sister was born and would tear around the house getting into everything while Mum was diverted by the new baby. I never wanted hugs and cuddles – just to explore and be on the move (Andrew as exactly the same, even as a newborn baby, he’d try to push you away so he could gawk at stuff).
Then I broke my leg and so was restrained by a plaster cast for a few months. Mum reckons I started putting on weight then, well that I never got a chance to lose my baby weight, but lately I’ve been thinking that maybe it was easy for her when I became less of a dynamo.
I’m not saying she consciously fattened me up, Hansel and Gretel style, but maybe as a child I was rewarded for being still and sedate. Somewhere in the murky depths, I think that quiet = good and tearing around = bad. Or in Mum’s words, I should just ‘sit down and shut up.’
As I got older and fattened up, I didn’t have the skills or fitness to do well at sport, or even do average, so I avoided it and stuck to the things I’m good at. High school is evil in that way – you don’t get points for trying, no matter how much they try to suck you into thinking that. The teachers can tell you to ‘just have a go’ but having a go gets you laughed at and humilated.
Still, even at my biggest when I hated to walk two blocks, if I had to walk, I’d walk fast and scowl at anyone getting in my way. I’d fidget and bounce and have always been annoyingly impatient. I ‘ve never been able to sit at my desk for long periods of time without a break. Being sedentary drives me nuts.
I’ve tried to repress my need to be active, I smothered it with food like a big layer of squidgy butter slapped over the top. I knew I needed something and assumed that something was food but it really isn’t.
The whole thought of me as someone who’s energetic and loves to move is weird to me. Even with all the running and gym over the last year or so, it’s only just sinking in.
PS. Because I was such a tubby kid, I’ve never been able to get out of the pool without using the ladder. I never had the upper body strength to heave myself over the side. So last week at the pool, I decided to demonstate my rubbish pool-getting out skills to my sister and DID IT! I’m never using the ladder again.
The job interview went well but don’t think I’ll get the job. They are looking for a very specific skill set and it’s stuff I can do but not do at guru level. Still they are a big IT recruitment agency and they have my details now if anything else comes up so that’s a big plus.
Last night I woke up at 2.00 with the killer stomach ache from hell. I thought I would vomit so stumbled to the bathroom, very unsteady on my feet. I heaved a lot but nothing more then went back to bed then back to the toilet and back to bed. This went on for about an hour then stopped as suddenly as it started. I’m fine today but still a little queasy.
And yes, I did mean my grandad had mad skillz at cattle farming, not mad cow skillz. Oops.