It’s weird when you know something in your head but don’t really understand it then suddenly out of nowhere – ping! The lightbulb moment when you realise what it really means.
Yesterday I got sick of lollygagging around being broken rib girl so decided to walk into Borders for some coffee and book reading fun. It’s about 4kms so I figured I could walk it then get a tram home.
I had my flat white and a vegetable frittata then ended up walking home because Sunday trams are impossibly not there – and my impatience always overrides my laziness and my common sense at not walking too much when I’m injured.
You know, it’s not the rib pain that stops you from exercising. It’s that you can only take shallow breathes. That really screws you up. But that wasn’t my big epithany.
I’d been reading through the Trinny and Suzanne books on how to dress and, walking home it hit me: I’m always going to have this body shape. See I’d been thinking I just needed to lose some more weight and I’d eventually have a nice flat belly – that the middle fat would get the hint. But that aint going to happen, is it. Sure it will get smaller and lesser but it’s not going away. I have this shape for life.
That’s why people dress for their shape. It’s not because I’m fat – it’s because that’s the type of body I have.
For some reason, I’d been thinking this was like an exam. You get to the ‘right’ weight and you pass, or you don’t and you fail. But there is no pass, no fail. There isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ goal at the end of the rainbow.
And that’s an amazingly liberating thought. We’re brainwashed into the thinking if we do everything right one day will be a collection of perfect body parts but it’s never going to happen. Ever. There is no finish line, no prize giving ceremony. There’s just me with my imperfect body and you with your imperfect body – and some of those imperfect parts are damn fine.
We’re more than the sum of our parts, more than just a ‘renovator’s delight’. Once you realise you can’t reach perfection, the pressure’s off. Today I’m best version of ME that I can possibly be and that’s better than being some ideal cookie cutter girl.
As a friend of mine used to say – be yourself, and let yourself shine. I’m starting to get that.