I went shopping today and got a Svelte Belt (as used by KT). It doesn’t do miracles but it helps.

I also got a pair of woollen slouchie sox. They are so warm, my toes are toastie *sigh*.

This Svelte Belt takes me back. Is it just me or did anyone else’s mother make them wear “step-ins” when they were younger? “Suckin’ ya gut in undies” or “plastic pants” we use to call them.

I’d always bitch and moan because they were so much the opposite of sexy and Mum would be like – you have to wear them or your stomach sticks out too much. You just knew you’d never get lucky if any guy saw you wearing them. But then maybe you’d not get lucky if anyone could see how much your gut really stuck out either. It was a double edged sword.

My trick, if I thought some guy was interested at the end of the night, was to run to the loo and put them in my handbag (thank god we used to carry those jumbo sized doctor’s bags in those days). You had to pick your moment – too soon and you’d be revealing your ginormousness, too late … and it would be too late. Once they’d slipped a hand up your skirt, the goose was cooked.

And damn it, I just realise what a tart young thing I must have been. No wonder Mum made me wear those step-ins. It wasn’t to suck my gut in at all. I bet it was meant as some kind of modern day chastity belt.


7 responses to “Shopping

  1. Are they like the equivalent of Brigdet Jones undies??? (Oh mummy)

    Sorry, I love that movie!

  2. God, they sound awful!

  3. I had a huge pair or sucky in pants that were the size of cycling shorts! I remember once on holiday I pulled a young man who was staying in the room next to mine. I had to make an excuse to nip back to my room so I could remove the skin tight knickers at the right moment!

    Ahhh- the memories!

  4. Ohhhhh, littlegrover beat me to the Bridget Jones undies comment! Not fair 😉 But it’s so true – the chance of meeting a boy is directly proportionate to the ugliness of the undies!

  5. Bwahaha, this all sounds so complicated. Never heard of a Svelte Belt??

  6. another sarah ...

    Sounds a bit like a pair of Nancy Ganz pants. I have two pairs of those, I hate the bastards as they’re phenomenally uncomfortable but the best thing about them is that they stop me eating or drinking too much. The moment my gut starts expanding in them, they start to cut into me!

  7. LOL at the chastity belt! Moms are smart that way, aren’t they? 🙂

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