Quick Ask

I’ve mentioned a few times on here that I’M GOING TO JAPAN NEXT WEEK!!!! Woohoo! But I just realised I should ask something. For those of you who are friends with me on facebook, please don’t mention it on there. Not that anyone has, but there are certain fb friends who I don’t want knowing about it. Thanks

Thinky thoughts

I am going to Japan in one week! Yah! Except all my plans for losing weight have come to nought! The weight loss the other day was like a mirage… oh well, not much I can do now. I’ll prolly have scouts for the sumos approach me in the street but it’s all good.

If you remember the dude I was talking about the other week, well arggghhh! I thought it was well and truly over – I hadn’t heard from him for a couple of weeks. Then I got drunk and texted him. Mostly to see if he’d reply. Nothing happened, just drunken texting.

Then I was going to see him the next weekend but again lots of texts. Finally he rang to said he was on his way over… at 4.30 am!!! I kinda cracked it.

So the next Friday he sent me a text. I was going to ignore it but as I got my phone out of my bag to show my sister, he must have called at the exact same moment and I accidentally answered it!!! I stared at the phone, not sure what to do then talked to him. He wanted me to meet him for a drink and I said no way, buddy.

The next day I decided I did want to see him (yeah I’m fickle and the weather was hot and I was feeling…) anyway, we went out and he was absolutely awesome and sweet and great.

We were supposed to see each other last Friday but then he had family stuff on.

I just sent him a text now so will see if he replies.

I went to see a psychic the other week. She said a lot of interesting stuff. And some stuff about this guy too. You know, it’s easy for other people to say someone doesn’t treat you the way you deserve and to find someone better but where do you find the someone better? It’s not like I’m passing up good, eligible men to stay with him.

Also when people say to value yourself more or to love yourself… how do you do that? You can’t just go “OK” and it magically happens. Life needs more answers, less questions.

Anyway, on the topic of men… I’m going to see these guys when I’m in Japan. It’s been a hell of a bitch fight getting concert tickets and I’m so scared it won’t work out. I heart them so much. It will be the greatest thing ever if it works out.

Pants truly on fire!

Today I had to help my boss put together some technical questions for a job interview, a kind of mini exam to test out applications. I had to do it when I started and thought it was kind of humiliating. After all, they could see my skills from my resume.

Well, I got an eye opener. Looking at some of the results (not from these applications but past ones). This may should really naive, but people LIE on their resumes! I’m not talking about exaggeration or talking yourself up, I’m talking flat out lying.

The questions weren’t difficult, they weren’t easy but for people with the experience and knowledge they claim to have, mostly answerable.

There were a couple of questions I didn’t know on the test I didand, when I finished, I said I didn’t know the answer, that I’d not encountered the situation before but this is how I’d find out the answer…

I didn’t make something up and think no one would notice!

I don’t think I could blatantly lie. I couldn’t say I had experience when I had no idea about something. I might claim to have more experience than I have — if I have some experience and know I can get by (eg. I say I’ve got a lot of Visio experience. I don’t but it’s piss easy, just everyone seems to think it’s hard but I’d never claim to have say Unix programming experience cos I know jack shit about it). I’m too scared I’d get caught and too scared I’d look like a dick.

Now I’m worried that I’m hurting myself by being too honest. Like when you go to the doctor and they ask you how much you drink or smoke and you are expected to halve the truth cos you know the doctor thinks you are lying and will automatically double it anyway! So you quarter it Is that how it is in interviews — they think I’m lying on my resume and halve my experience?

So, do you lie on your resume? Ever caught anyone out in a big porky? It’s weird seeing the other side.

At Last

After months of hovering around the same 2 kg block of numbers on the scale (those numbers would be 91-93 to be brutally honest), today I’ve broken out! Woohoo… and not in a bad “WTF… I can’t weight that much… oh I must be getting my period…” kind of way either. Nope, I’m down to 90.7.

I’m on hols in a week and a half and I’m determined to be under 90 kgs by then.

So, I stopped with the Lite n’ Easy. I wasn’t losing weight on it. I don’t think it was the program as such but just that I kept having extras (esp booze).

I found it a bit strange – the absolute killer was the day I got a tiny Asian salad for lunch (like a few mouthfuls) then had a 150 calorie dessert with it. That makes no sense – why not a huge salad and no dessert? You could have a bucket of salad for 150 calories!

But the good thing is that it’s gotten me back in the habit of eating at home rather than getting something from the cafe or the fish n’chip shop.

Also, I’m exercising like a demon! Well a lazyish demon… I’m not pushing it too hard but trying to keep up with the schedule. I think I overdid the hills this week though… after a killer session (involving mostly the cross trainer at the gym since I forgot my running bra!), I couldn’t even run 3 days later. Poor legs. I did manage a decent hour last night though.

Most importantly, no booze. I am thinking what is the point of all this effort – the running and the workouts – to come home and drink more calories than I’m burning off! I doesn’t hurt to lay off the demon drink for a while — and that is definitely working on the scales.

Plans

I thought I should get off my butt and maybe update.   Since I’m now registered in the Mountain to Surf, I thought I should have a running plan.  Luckily they have one on their web site.  I jiggered it around a bit.  I’m not into this whole doing your long run on a Sunday business.  I like to do it Friday after work, get it over with then feel validated in overeating all weekend… or something like that! 

So, this is it:
mon – 40-50 min easy
tues – boxing
wed – 30-40 min steady include hills
thurs – pt
fri – longer run more than one hour
sat – Rest
sun – 25-40 min tempo (strong but relaxed

I just wish it would be cool enough for me to go out and run!

Stuff

Life is just going along.  Not much happening – work, gym, hanging out. 

I did have a brainwave last week and thought, since my old running buddy is coming home for Christmas, we should do a fun run together.  Discussed it with him and we decided on the Mountain to Surf at Lorne. 

I’ve done it a few times and that mountain is a killer.  I couldn’t run it when I was fitter so it will surely kill me now.

Still it’s a good motivator.  My worst time for the run is just under an hour (8 km) so I hope I can still manage less than an hour now.

The lurve situation has disapated – no calls. no nothing!

Not losing weight on Lite n’ Easy — maybe a few too many extras — but not gaining either and at least I don’t have to cook.

Oh yeah, and I’m going to Japan for a hol in Dec (5 days), thanks to super cheap Jetstar flights.  I think I have a slight addiction.

This Week

I’m on my second week of Lite N Easy.  I haven’t really been able to judge the result cos the day I started, the scales were being stupidheads and having one of those bleepy days that drive you nuts.  That means technically I’ve lost 3 kgs but I don’t think it’s that much in reality!

I’d have had a much better result if I’d not been drinking so much.  I rarely go out drinking but I’ve been out last Friday, Saturday and Sunday then this week on Thursday and Friday.  Not good for weight loss but  figure it’s not happening all the time (the rest of the weekend is going to be alcohol free) so I may as well make the most of social time. 

I am starting to break some bad habits – before I was getting something from the charity chocolate box every arvo as well as an after dinner treat plus having a turkish bread toastie for lunch, and often buying dinner.  At the moment, I’m mainly sticking to the plan. 

Some days I am still hungry so I have something else to eat – like a sushi roll with lunch or maybe something extra at night.  I was starving on Wednesday, maybe because I have personal training tuesday night so figured I needed something more.  It’s no big deal.  the potion sizes are small but I’m finding that even if my eyes say they are too small, my belly is satisified.

After this week, I’m changing from the 1200 calorie plan to the 1500 plan.  I’ve been taking it easy at the gym, easing into it after being sick, so not exercising as much as usual so I ‘don’t to eat as much but from next week, I want to get back into some serious training.  I figure if I don’t need to eat all the food if I don’t need it but it’s good to have there instead of having to look for something healthy when I need more.

The personal training is killing me… lol.  I can definitely feel the results, esp in my arms.

As for the guy thing, I had to laugh at the comment

It looks to me like “he’s just not that into you”.

Why invite you out at the last minute then turn up with a mate???

Until I read that, it never occured to me I did almost the same thing — the first time we went 0ut (not including the night we met) he’d called to see if I wanted to go for a drink some time.  I’d been sick so wasn’t going out that weekend but ended up at a bar near home with my sister and some friends on the Sunday night (there was a festival on in our street).  I sent him a text to see if he wanted to join us and he turned up about 30 minutes later.  He sweemed a bit shy at first but was absolutely charming to my friends (including the 10 or so random ones that turned up during the night).

I can’t knock him for doing something I’d already done myself.

Anyway, last weekend he said he’d call me late in the week and he called Thursday night.  We went out for drinks.  Since I live above the cafe and all the cafe staff go to the local bar, I suggested going somewhere else so we could be alone.  It was good to just sit and talk.

When he didn’t call me for 2 weeks it nearly drove me mad but I think a lot of that was my own issues.  I don’t know about other people but sometimes I get caught up in this whole thing where it’s not just ONE guy not calling but he’s like a representative of the whole male sex and if he doesn’t find me attractive then no guy does! 

I feel much calmer about things now.

I think he has a lot going on in his life and I’m not top priority.  But then I have a lot going on my life and I know he’s not the love of my life or anything like it.  Still I like hanging out with him and we have fun together.  He’s a really good person.

Update

I can’t type properly cos I got fake nails on Saturday.  I’m kinda handicapped and stuff now.  They look cute though.

Lite n’Easy has been going good, foodwise but a bit pointless when I’ve been going out drinking every night, well except tonight cos it’s Monday and I had personal training instead.

So, Saturday night the dude called.  I had my phone switched off and was in bed really early but around 11 woke up and decided to check if he’d called me.  He had.  He wanted to know if I wanted to go for a drink so I went.  No chance to talk cos he had his mate with him.  It was kinda weird.  I met the mate the first time I met him, and he was a complete douchebag but on Saturday night seemed to be going all out to make a good impression. 

Anyway things are still unclear but then I’m all unclear in my own head.  I have fun with this guy but he’s not someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.  I think I really liked the attention and compliments when I first met him too but that when away fast. 

I think I mentioned too that I have the thought in the back of my head that I will most likely be heading overseas so there is no point starting anything.  It’s really getting to me – not the guy thing but this whole moving overseas but not really knowing if it’s really going to happen or when.  All this year I’ve had to take that into consideration every time I make a decision – what job to take, where to live etc.  It’s like my life is in a holding pattern.

Anyway, back to the man issue: I think the way to go is to just put myself and my needs first.  If I want to go out and he’s around, then I’ll go out.  If I have other things to do, then I’ll pass.  I’m having an alcohol free weekend next weekend and I’m working at the Melb Marathon early on Sunday so no going out Saturday night.

Love love talk!

The crush:  after seeing the Sunday before last, no contact .  Then last night, around 11 oçlock, got a text to see what I was doing.  Basically he was out with his friends and said me he might call later.  Wasn’t sure how to respond to that so said — make it in the next hour or I’m going to bed.  An hour later, I texted him to see what’s up and he replied saying he’s still out with the guys!!!!  WTF!!!!

I sent him another text today to say I was confused by his messages and I wanted to meet for coffee.  He replied saying he had a bday party on tonight and he’d call me after that.  I told him to make it tomorrow so he says he’s going on a day trip so he’d play it by ear.

I have no idea what’s going on.  There is no way in hell I’m being a late night booty call or whatever.  I’m just leaving it up to him now but it’s kinda hard to have any kind of conversation when it’s all by text.  I’d like to meet face to face (alcohol-free) and say to him – this is what I want, take it or leave it.  Of course, that’s assuming I’ll get the chance to see him other than when he’s out drinking.  

My instincts are saying he’s a nice guy and not just after sex but his behaviour seems to indicate otherwise.

Other stuff:  I started Lite n’Easy on Thursday night.  It’s very hard adjusting to the smaller portion sizes.  I’m not hungry but am suffering mentally!  I’m like a food junkie, writhing around needing my next fix.  It’s really making me realise how much a part food plays in my life.  Not even the eating (although that’s always tops) but more the whole process and ritual — spending the morning at work thinking about what I’m going to buy for lunch, the afternoon thinking about dinner.  All that thinky-ness has been removed. 

I’ve not being doing much exercise.  I had 2 sessions with the PT this week.  Planned to go to the gym on Wednesday, well I went and got almost changed then realised I’d packed odd shoes!!!!  Oops.  Was also going to go to gym last night but was in a shit awful mood and not wanting to be around ppl so walked home from work (around 5km) instead.  Then planned to go today but slept instead – I’ll either go to the gym tomorrow or out for a run (prolly a run cos catching public transport on a sunday is arse).

Down

I’m feeling a bit glum today and not really looking forward to the week ahead.  I think I need to plan  a few fun things to keep my spirits up.  I have 2 pt sessions this week so that’s a start.  I get to hit stuff and that makes me happy.

More about the ‘crush’:  still haven’t heard from him, not sure if I will.  It’s weird because he met a few of my friends last week and they keep asking if he’s called etc.  Everyone who met him is surprised because they all think he seemed to really adore me (I also got that impression).  Men are weird!

Anyway, my question is this – if he calls now, should I go out with him?  I’m kinda pissy about the whole thing but maybe, to him, it’s no big deal. 

To me, if a guy is interested, he’d call or text or something.  Maybe he doesn’t see it that way. 

I’m also thinking that, as you get older, you have to ask yourself why someone is single.  At 25 it isn’t an issue but at 40 it is (even though I’m still single myself – lolz).   There has to be something going on there, some kind of commitment issues or whatever.

Then again, if you met a guy who’s divorced etc then most of the time they have a whole heap of baggage about that. 

It’s been really hard too because even if he contacts me, what can I offer?  I’m moving overseas next year and I don’t plan to change that.  I was actually planning a flow chart of possible relationship outcomes in my head the other day (and had to stop myself from actually making a chart in Visio!) – and none of those outcomes were good!